27 Jul 2014

Thou Shall Be the Wrath!

Her insides were burning with the fury she felt at the people who were looking at her. No! They are nothing! She screamed mentally, gave all of them a burning look and took off. Her wings slashed the skies as she flew in circles above the kingdom. They were liars. All of them, with their sweet talk and words of concern. She seethed at the peaceful face of one of the angels who was looking at her from below, mouthing words which irritatingly felt like, "Please come back, we love you!". 

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These people! These filthy self-righteous people! 

She looked for a place where she could vent out all the emotions raging inside her, the unfairness of it all, the...the stupidity to choose Savlanut over her, because she was the one who had endured and suffered and bore it all. With Patience!!! She was the youngest among all the angels and they were all just too dim witted in their path of righteousness, to seek glory! She had enough! ENOUGH! She could not stand them and their sickly sweet attitude. 

She found a tower finally, where she could brood. Also, there was a weird burning tingling sensation towards the end of her spine but may be that was because she had been flying for too long. She sat at the wide tower that marked one of the gates of Heaven and screamed in anger, but inaudibly. That was her specialty. She could mute herself when she willed it. But it was hard, she felt her eyes burn too, with tears and what felt like...blood?! She looked at the back of her hands horrified, there was blood on them! She cringed in fear and took off again to check her reflection in the Lake of Wisdom. The burning sensation at her back was also increasing at a dull pace. She found the lake and made for its banks. 

She looked fine. Her reflection just looked a little grimy, but there was no blood. Not even on the back of her hands. What? She pulled at her hair with frustration. Even this bloody lake was deceptive. Enraged with her body on flame she decided to breach the gates and enter the realms of humans, the mortals, the dispensable. As she exhaled and inhaled, a sudden gust of darkest wind, dark as the night and impenetrable as an angel's womb, surrounded her. Panicking at the sense of loss of direction, she pushed herself up and beyond the cloak of smoke. Where had she seen this before? Where?

The Hell. 

Her mind supplemented the answer as she realized she was almost close to the core of the Earth, where Satan lived, albeit tied up by the God himself. But that did not mean he could not wield power or did not have his cronies. As she stood before him, lost and a little bit scared, he gave her a charming smile. Why did God chain him up in the first place? Shut up! What are you thinking! Her mind chagrined. She continued to stare at him with interest, when he spoke in a voice so soothing and gentle, she felt that both of them were equally wronged. There were warning bells in ears, but well, who cared.

"Hello Ira." He said. 

Ira? What strange language is that? She thought but did not respond.

"It seems like an appropriate time that you join my world. With that passion inside you, it feels unfair that you stay with the Pure ones." He spoke, inviting her and caressing her with his words.

"What do you mean? You disgusting monster!" She blurted out without thinking. There it was, the rage again...when he just smiled at her. The anger started to simmer inside her as she felt like throttling him. What a belittling gesture! How dare he!! She wished she had claws or a weapon, anything with which she could hit him and there it was, in her clenched fists, a leather cord whip, which could torment a mortal soul with wounds which would not heal for days or weeks or months. She smiled despite herself. What was happening to her?

"Come on Ira, you want to hit me, don't you? I will give you just the right chance to do so. And on mortals! Imagine, how simple minded creatures they are...who give in to their stormy emotions. You can control all of them." He said in a honey sweet seductive voice, unlike the angels.Their voices grated on her nerves. 

"I...but I am God's!" She stuttered, knowing she had already betrayed her God, with the rage seething inside her, the unforgiving and relentless feelings inside her. 

"Are you?" He smiled and she felt everything go dark around her. It was eons before she woke up and noticed a throbbing on her shoulder blades. She touched them and was horrified. The tingling at the base of her spine had abated. And now there were her wings, long, wide, lustrous and black. She wore what seemed like a blood red gown. It was strangely satisfying. Forbidden. She felt an aura of power pulse around her. Thick and dark.
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"What am I to do?" She asked.

"You are the Wrath. You can destroy anything you want. From lives to those who love. It's all yours'. The World is yours." She heard Satan's voice in her head and thought of the mortal world. And lo! There she was, at the mere thought! She felt extremely hungry though. She realized she could move and fly without being seen. She crept up at a couple, where a man was telling his wife to give him some bread, while she insisted she will take some time. Ira touched the man gently on the shoulder and saw him change. He picked up the plate and threw it on the floor. Ira couldn't help but smile and felt herself a little full. Oh, so this is how she would feed. She cackled and saw a lighting cut across the skies. She will have fun in the mortal world.  And how right she was.

PS: When Ira's conscience was clean, the font color is purple, where it is maligned, it's red. Hence the disparity. Also, Savlanut is Hebrew for Patience or tolerance.

PPS: Among the seven deadly sins, Anger or Wrath or Ira (Latin) was considered to be ultimate rejection of love and acceptance. It also meant that the entity either hated oneself or the other so much, that it would kill the other or itself. The punishment for anger in Hell was to be dismembered alive. You can read about all of this in the links below.

19 Jul 2014

Reverie.

To keep standing on my gnarled feet was becoming tough with each passing day, especially now when the monsoons had set in. You know how it feels when you are young and fresh, watching the world with a renewed perspective everyday. But now, when I am not sure if I will regain my youth ever, I know that I will just have to wait and watch how the things around me change. 

The energetic young ones who cannot wait to turn their faces towards the sun, while I wait for the sun to disappear so that I don't die faster in the heat. My children left me long time ago, not sure, if they will ever come back. They grow so quickly that I don't remember how they sounded. I remember their cries and the way I had sheltered them, but never the conversations. Now I cannot seem to recall any details of them growing  up and leaving. It's all become a blur now. 

Rain is falling in torrents around me as I see little creepers and weeds taking shelter beneath my feet. I no longer have the shadow of green canopied leaves and the fruits that I bore. I see all the others, green and alive, as I wait...for once my mother said, it was not necessary that I will die if I was bare. But this time, I felt, having lived more than 50 seasons that it was my time. 

As I see the sky grow dark, I feel a trembling within me... I fear that my time has come. That I will pass out without even knowing that I am dead. Then I see, a tiny sprouting near my toe. Was it me growing back again? I was dreading the morning, so I just remained still, closing my eyes, hopefully not forever. The morning comes with a fresh light, and I notice that I haven't flinched in the sunlight. I open my eyes to notice a brown myna cooing in my ears and look down, I have grown a twig!!! I was becoming alive again! I cried in happiness as the rains set in again. Being a tree wasn't so bad after all. 


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4 Jul 2014

Untitled



In the bliss of my reflection, 
I found myself.

In the silence of my home, 
I found myself.

In the darkness of the night,
I found myself.

When I stopped searching for me, 
I found myself.


"Sheltered by the Wind" by Helenka Weirxbicki 
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2 Jul 2014

Et I...

The misty smell of her hair and the dewiness of her skin,
Made him wonder now, where had she always been?

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While everyone would talk and smile, laugh and play around,
With a yellowed book in her hands, on a bench she would be found,

Sometimes he would see her mutter something and smile,
He swore in that moment he would see the whole world shine,

Then there would be days she would sit quietly on the bench,
With nothing to read, her hands in the pockets of her trench,

And he would feel the skies turn dark, like her mood, somber and gray,
He would feel a chill then, which had nothing to do with a cold day.

Sometimes he would feel, she was looking at him, when he was running behind his dog,
The dog would be back in a moment and she would be smiling, hidden behind the bookish fog.

He felt himself fall for her, but fear had gripped his heart, for she was no ordinary woman,
On a dry dry day, when no one was around, he saw her bloom a rose, in the cold autumn.

It was a secret he knew she knew, he saw,
But he wasn't mistaken, the rigidity in her, an aloofness so raw.

That day she looked at him, him watching her and called him to her,
He had bought a ring, not for love, to give his company to her,

She laughed, he noticed, but had tears in her eyes,
"I am evil, but can you not stop loving me" she fell silent with her cold sighs.

"I don't think you are evil. I saw you bloom a rose" he said, recalling that magical experience.
"That shouldn't have happened, I intervened, I was selfish" she cried, he held her, close to cease the turbulence. 
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"It wasn't you, you should know. You are like me. From day one I knew." He said, revealing his true form,
"Are you a witch too?" She looked both surprised and shocked, as she looked at him, like a sun shining through the storm.

"Yes, and I sought permission, before that rose bloomed. Your moods affect the weather, and you bring happiness or doom" He said as he took out the ring.

She nodded and looked at the sky, the chill was going and the sun was shining,
If she had been weird, he was one too.

PS: Et I means You and I in Latin