Someone told me yesterday, that music is the best way to start any conversation. It is also the best way to end one.
Someday I would learn to play this.
Couple of days back, I burned few bridges that had led me to the major part of my life. My College life, to be precise. I also saw the phrase - History repeats itself - come true. This time, however, I garnered a choice, to move on or stay back and fix what went awry. And I did, move on. You know, when you have to make hard decisions and you feel like you could go absolutely wrong, I say, you must take that risk. Sometimes, you might end up alone, but it's better to be that, than letting your self-esteem be pulped by a bunch of arse-holes. (I dislike expletives, but I wish I could have them freely thrown whenever I really want to). So next time, as someone once said, you decide to give up because of a dented self-esteem, just look around that you are not living with a bunch of...yep! Exactly those. You'd feel happy. I do now. I've no strings attached. Absolutely none. Except the ones I tied myself. And yes, with time, I will cut them off too.
Seems like now is the time where I am realizing a lot of things. Like how written word impacts you. Books, they have started to hold such a solid ground in my life, that I prefer them to coffee. (Sometimes.) And coffee has become like an estranged partner, who takes hard time to please. I oblige happily though. You know, for a sneaky date with it.
:D :D :D I am not addicted, I swear.
Humor. A friend of mine believes I have it to the hilt, I just need to bring it out in written. If only. I was shackled a lot metaphorically and breaking links one by one is taking time. May be you'll see another side of mine soon. Hopefully, I would stay true to myself. Actually, that has never been an issue, which seems to be the issue off late. Funny thing, this statement - Be Yourself - is. You cut someone slack and then pull them back for doing the things they feel happy with.
I met someone, who was a jock during his college. He had the most forlorn and heartbreaking demeanor about him, which made me ask him if he was all right. Eyes are truly windows to one's heart (Soul, this word makes me cringe now.) He said he used to have piercings and goth punk stage, when he had started with college. He also was into adventurous stuff and now that he's having a downhill time, he believes God is punishing him. I wanted to say that it's not God who is punishing you (Why do we make a figure to blame him afterwards?), it's you punishing yourself. I realized everything you do, comes down to the choices you make. And I don't care if it sounds philosophical, but I have come to believe it as the ultimate truth. There's no God that way, if you see. If things turn out good, we make a better choice. If they don't we blame God. Why? I am not an atheist, but I am not a pantheist either! I asked him to make better choices and not regret what he did, since he has chosen a better way of life now, as he believes. I am glad, he left with a smile. I am glad, I made a choice too.
Welcome to the Club, my friend.
As I always say, Blessed Be my people. I love Abstract. Happy reading!
PS: What is this melancholy wrapping around me? Anyone up for coffee?
PS II: You may stop reading me soon, the way I am writing. Won't you? So, I say Thank You for bearing with me.