Disclaimer: Long post ahead. Read on your own accord. You’ve been warned.
We only pretend to be strong when we are weak.
And what is better, when in your weakness you are embraced and given a hope to be a better person, to be stronger for yourself. I always maintained few things about myself - things which I had learnt over 6 years of my life, away from home - away from family, while at home. And the moments of epiphany, as they say, were many. There are so many people who have been kind to me, who love me too and have been always there, whether I'd asked them to be not. Some of them, who have contributed immensely to my growth, while I was away from home, are Sreeja, Stuti and Nandini. Sreeja was my school friend and has been with me ever since. Stuti and Nandini joined me on my journey at my Law School. There are Rahul, SG and Shameer, who were always there, especially Shameer, my lunch time partner and closest buddy from class - each and everyone of them have contributed in their own way to my growth and self-confidence - hard way. SG critiques me and gives me the most valuable inputs. And Rahul is my music buddy - whom I see once in a Blue Moon.
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However, those moments are best when you are what you are and you needn't worry about judgment or hatred or nastiness. I had those moments the most with Stuti and Nandini. Anyhow, this is not the point what I intend to make. I learnt a few things and now I want you to know them and feel better about yourself. Last year and a few months now, have been so taxing that I wish I could run away. I met people who love me selflessly and I am indebted to them for their support. Some of them are here, in this blogging arena. I met people who literally drained my self confidence, though I didn't have ample of it. I met people who said they loved me but then simply didn't. I had forgotten the basic discipline of life - Silence and self - reflection. But now I am getting back and for Good. So, if life or people (There will always be someone to pull you down, but there also be someone to catch you when you fall) are crushing your skull, remember these pearls I give you. MSM wishes you every thing best and the strength of earth to be happy.
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1. You can never please everyone. Do what pleases you. Yes, you will know how good you feel.
2. You know yourself the best. There's always a small voice which warns you. Some call it instinct, some call it conscience. Listen to it. And if you are unable to or choose not to, don't be afraid of the consequences. You may fall, but will also learn.
3. Yes, we all have problems and we all have someone to tell us, "Why don't you see that person? His life is worse than yours." I agree, we all need to stop being selfish but NO, I also believe that only a person who suffers knows the extent. So let people talk, you take your own time, to buck yourself up. Remember, people, if they cannot support you, they'll pull you down. You're your own savior.
4. Never wallow in self-pity. I have done it so many times, but now I know, if I don't respect myself and hold my ground, people are waiting to walk over me. If you feel sad for yourself - look in the mirror. I used to never look myself in the eye - now I do. And I tell myself, if I do something good - I am proud of you.
5. Enjoy small things - the breeze, music, colors - making tea/coffee, stuff. You know, when I am agitated, these days I make myself quite, for I am learning to retort only when needed. It's really helpful. Heavy Stuff? Easy way - go for a walk, alone. Steam off as much as you want, let the noises in your mind turn to whisper - then to silence. Not happening? Plug in the music - listen to the beats - punch the wall - cry. But let it all go. You will recover instantly. You have my word for it.
6. Broke up recently? Got fired? Parents losing hope in you? You've no expectation to do anything in your life? Yes, you are fucked, I know. But if you are confused like I am - give yourself some time. Read, join hobby classes, dance, learn kick boxing, paint, call up old friends and talk. Hate socializing? Try to venture out of your comfort zone, once. Secretly. You will feel proud of yourself. I had to go to a house warming party all alone - where every one knew my mother, but not me. And I am a very non-socializing kind of a person. Ask me to go anywhere (except may be to buy books or for a long drive) my answer is a reflexive NO. I am so afraid of not being in a group that once I waited outside a coffee shop (with the air potent with smell of coffee) for 20 minutes, because I was afraid to go alone. Now, I have done that four-five times. Believe me, achcha lagta hai :D
7. Forgive yourself. Know that you have a choice, you always do. But if you screw up doesn't mean the end of the world. It's the waiting part which is really hard. I know, I've been waiting for 4 and a half years now and I almost gave up the entire patience potion I had. But for past few days, I am regaining the composure. There's always something good for you in store. And if nothing comes up, meet me. We'll go, have a cup of coffee, chat and let go. Okay?
Till the next time beloved people, keep hope and live each day. After all we all have a Hero inside us Blessed Be!!
Hero - Mariah Carey