29 Jun 2012

Fly High!


Blessed Be!!!!!!!

I have a bundle of little joys right now with me...and who all would be the best to share them with, other than of course, YOU all lovely people!! You've been my strength, my companion, my confidantes, my friends! :) :)

First, my Tenth and Final semester results were out just an hour back and NOW, I am OFFICIALLY a Lawyer. :) :)

Second, I've started to work towards losing those extra (Well, not extra - a lot lot more than that :P) kilos and hopefully, I will be fit as a fiddle in few months.

Thirdwell nothing. These above two reasons are good enough! With this year starting on a horrific note and sliding down subsequently, I suddenly feel like a floating air balloon (no pun intended).

Image Source: june1rose.deviantart.com
Now, the most important thing that helped me not lose my marbles was writing and you all. Yes, unbelievable as it might sound, but the kind of stories/poems and painfully dark things I've been writing (even though I may be good with only dark stuff, unfortunately), I am glad you all have loved and accepted me with an open heart and open mind. I've found good friends here - Meoww, FL, Blasphemous Asthete, Atrocious Scribblings, Phatichar, Swarnali, Rahul, Maithili, Aditi Ray, Chandana, Ash, Sugar, Arpita, Nimue, Sarah, Dragon, Raumali and so so so many lovely people...if I start counting, there would be no end to it. I feel blessed!


Virtual World and the connections thus formed are always doubtful - but I really feel lucky to have found such wonderful people. And well, we all can't always tread like a sloth. :D Oh Dear Goddess! I wish you all the choicest of blessings....may you all find that one door of happiness, that makes life worth living! :D And well, it is worth living anyway. :) :)

I leave for a short trip as you know. Till then my Mystical Fellas, I promise you, you have my love and magic always. Believe in time and yourself, no one can stop you. Blessed Be!!

Image Source: fineartphotoblog.com

Take my hand and we will see,
The world in time, that will be,
Tears and laughter are married forever,
Pain and peace will always be together,
We pick and chose,
We win and we lose,
But heart and mind be strong, 
Sometimes right sometimes be wrong.

Take my hand and we will see,
The world in time, that will be,
Strength and Faith, in you reside,
Your way and fate, you decide.
Don't stop walking, you might be crawling,
Tomorrow you will stand, it is your time bidding,
Breathe deep and keep your head high,
Blessed you shall be, you will fly,
So mote it be, bid miseries goodbye.

PS: Meoww (Aditi) had given me a chance to write for her wonderful blog ABHILASHA. You can read the post HereTill the next time... live each moment, learn each moment and move on... 

22 Jun 2012

Letting the Cables Sleep


You in the sea, on a decline,
Breaking the waves,
Watching the lights go down,
Letting the cables sleep...


I am walking alone into the dusk, with the sun bidding farewell to me and the world. The concrete road sprawls before me like a torn gray carpet, laid down exclusively for me. The cracks on it and in my heart share a camaraderie as I absently hum to the tune playing in my head and look up. 

Darkness has begun to fall and I know something electric has maligned in the air. What's that? Aah. The rhythmic chirruping of the crickets. The dying Silver Crescent adds to the scene. Perfect. Just what I need. I check my pockets. Hmmm. Well. The task at hand is not an easy one. Never has been. Especially when you know that a large sum of money is involved against someone's life. I walk easily, not pretending to hide or run away. Nothing is at stake here. I am exceptional in what I do. And exception means you are singled out. You are meant to be alone.
Image Source: weheartit.com
Sometimes, when you become used to staying alone, for reasons unknown - you stop being afraid of losing anything too. It's like there are no ties holding you back. And really, no one does hold you back, it is you yourself - letting others just aid you in widening that fault line in your character. 

Oh. I am thinking too much. Just like my Brother. He is always thinking of hope, goodness, charity and peace, when it's not really about these emotions - it's how we perceive them. I mean, it doesn't make me any bad if I don't preach like him. I think I am just more realistic. He calls me pessimistic. That Arsehole. I shrug at his thought. People have always loved him more, for he is good and they have always been afraid of me because I am the bad one. As if they would know anything. They should step into my shoes and see. Ah Shoes. I have been walking for quite a while now. I think I have reached the right place. I take out her photograph, which has the address of her place behind it.

46 B, Rising Sun Enclave, Cobbler Street.

I don't rely on such means however, which could leave trace. But sometimes, I like to change my modus operandi. Gives me a sense of novelty. Even Gods cannot stop me from doing what I do. Perfect. I think as I stare at the duplex, looking inviting. I walk past the gates noiselessly. The security guard is asleep. Great. How do these people let such incompetent people guard their homes? The Light to the room, where I have to enter, is on. Someone must be with her. Tough. I inhale deeply and climb up. Walking through the front doors is not my thing. I keep one foot on the ledge of the ground floors window and hoist myself up on to the parapet of the first floor. Climbing feels good. Natural. Ah. I can enter her room from here. I peer in. I have managed to float up till here, I just hope I don't cause her too much pain. 

Damn. Emotions always fuck you up. I need to focus. Fortunately no one's near her. I enter the room silently. She is beautiful. Fair skinned and fragile. Her hair is tied in pig-tails. Well, suits her. I walk easily to her bed and place a cold palm on her forehead. She looks pale and almost on the verge of giving up. I will ensure I do it quick. As if on cue, the electricity goes off and she opens her soft beautiful eyes to me. After all, she is no more than 7 years old. Sometimes, I hate my work.

Image Source: eduguide.org
Her reaction is very different from what I am accustomed to. I am expecting her to shriek and panic, but she just smiles at me. I ask her, "Do you trust me?" She nods in affirmative. I think she knew I was coming to take her. "Then close your eyes." She agrees. I kiss her softly on her burning forehead and place my right hand above her heart. Slowly, I feel her heartbeat fade away. I exhale. In some other dimension, she could have been my daughter. I get up and turn around to leave. I feel a tiny hand slip into mine.

"They told me Death is scary. But you are really nice." She gives me her gaping smile. She has two missing teeth.
"So they say, little girl. So they say." I lift her up and float out of the window.

You see, you believe what you hear. I am not as sly as you think I am. What can I do, if my name is Death?

Blessed be my people!

PS: Death is the Ultimate truth, just as his Brother, Life is. All lives come to an end and all ends have a beginning. The verse above is from the song called “Letting the Cables Sleep” by this band called Bush. You can watch the video here.

PPS: I am leaving on 27/29th till 17th of July, I guess, for a mini trip to my village. I just hope things turn out good. I have a new phase starting after I come back. Till the next time I see you, fear not the uncertain, but embrace your own strength to face that comes.

19 Jun 2012

De Novo

Blessed Be My Immortal Fellas!

Wassup?! Life's treating you too seriously?? Chalo, let's go for a drive in this wonderful weather. And I'll treat you coffee, *Yes, coffee! ;)*

Ahem, so coming to the point.

As it is very evident, that the look of my Blog has changed. It's become less dark, more feminine and well more mystical I would say. However, as you know, Blogger doesn't work according to our whims and neither does my internet, I am not sure what all you can see on your desktop screen. So I decided I'll break down the few elements that I've put here, which you may or may not see.

On your left, you should see a woman in some heavenly dance sorta pose in white - She depicts freedom and moving beyond. In other words, she is dancing the dance of joy. Meoww (Aditi) would connect to it most I feel.

The shimmering stars on your right remain intact, from my old look...I just love them, couldn't do without them. :D :D

The Blog background image should not  move when you scroll down technically.

And the most painfully annoying part is the font of my Header! Since last night I've been trying to get it into the centre as well as be of the font I want it to be, it wouldn't simply budge. So I don't know how weird it is going to appear on your screens. *Exhales*

So so so, time for small small changes - let me know if it's too garish for your eyes. The old posts do have some aggressive neon stuff, but please ignore them...as you know they were on a darker background!

Will soon be back with some stuff worth reading, right now I am too caught up to breath! And as I can see, most of you as well!

Dance the dance of midnight Blue,
Let's weave the Magic,
Of Peace and Passion True
Skeptic I will be, I am now Mystic,
Come rejoice with me,
Celebrating freedom, of Me and You.


Till the next time fellas, breathe deep and laugh, for there shouldn't be a reason to be in love with the Universe! Blessed Be!

PS: If there are any suggestions, opinions, appreciations - feel free to tell me...I want you all to be comfortable while reading.
PPS: I know you know, but De Novo means a new beginning, starting afresh in Latin.

11 Jun 2012

Brighter than the Sun


Disclaimer: Long post ahead. Read on your own accord. You’ve been warned.

We only pretend to be strong when we are weak.

And what is better, when in your weakness you are embraced and given a hope to be a better person, to be stronger for yourself. I always maintained few things about myself - things which I had learnt over 6 years of my life, away from home - away from family, while at home. And the moments of epiphany, as they say, were many. There are so many people who have been kind to me, who love me too and have been always there, whether I'd asked them to be not. Some of them, who have contributed immensely to my growth, while I was away from home, are Sreeja, Stuti and Nandini. Sreeja was my school friend and has been with me ever since. Stuti and Nandini joined me on my journey at my Law School. There are Rahul, SG and Shameer, who were always there, especially Shameer, my lunch time partner and closest buddy from class - each and everyone of them have contributed in their own way to my growth and self-confidence - hard way. SG critiques me and gives me the most valuable inputs. And Rahul is my music buddy - whom I see once in a Blue Moon. 
Image Source: winthroptickets.com
 However, those moments are best when you are what you are and you needn't worry about judgment or hatred or nastiness. I had those moments the most with Stuti and Nandini. Anyhow, this is not the point what I intend to make. I learnt a few things and now I want you to know them and feel better about yourself. Last year and a few months now, have been so taxing that I wish I could run away. I met people who love me selflessly and I am indebted to them for their support. Some of them are here, in this blogging arena. I met people who literally drained my self confidence, though I didn't have ample of it. I met people who said they loved me but then simply didn't. I had forgotten the basic discipline of life - Silence and self - reflection. But now I am getting back and for Good. So, if life or people (There will always be someone to pull you down, but there also be someone to catch you when you fall) are crushing your skull, remember these pearls I give you. MSM wishes you every thing best and the strength of earth to be happy.
Image Source: sweet-symbiosis.com
1.      You can never please everyone. Do what pleases you. Yes, you will know how good you feel.

2.      You know yourself the best. There's always a small voice which warns you. Some call it instinct, some call it conscience. Listen to it. And if you are unable to or choose not to, don't be afraid of the consequences. You may fall, but will also learn.

3.   Yes, we all have problems and we all have someone to tell us, "Why don't you see that person? His life is worse than yours." I agree, we all need to stop being selfish but NO, I also believe that only a person who suffers knows the extent. So let people talk, you take your own time, to buck yourself up. Remember, people, if they cannot support you, they'll pull you down. You're your own savior. 

4.      Never wallow in self-pity. I have done it so many times, but now I know, if I don't respect myself and hold my ground, people are waiting to walk over me. If you feel sad for yourself - look in the mirror. I used to never look myself in the eye - now I do. And I tell myself, if I do something good - I am proud of you.

5.      Enjoy small things - the breeze, music, colors - making tea/coffee, stuff. You know, when I am agitated, these days I make myself quite, for I am learning to retort only when needed. It's really helpful. Heavy Stuff? Easy way - go for a walk, alone. Steam off as much as you want, let the noises in your mind turn to whisper - then to silence. Not happening? Plug in the music - listen to the beats - punch the wall - cry. But let it all go. You will recover instantly. You have my word for it.

6.   Broke up recently? Got fired? Parents losing hope in you? You've no expectation to do anything in your life? Yes, you are fucked, I know. But if you are confused like I am - give yourself some time. Read, join hobby classes, dance, learn kick boxing, paint, call up old friends and talk. Hate socializing? Try to venture out of your comfort zone, once. Secretly. You will feel proud of yourself. I had to go to a house warming party all alone - where every one knew my mother, but not me. And I am a very non-socializing kind of a person. Ask me to go anywhere (except may be to buy books or for a long drive) my answer is a reflexive NO. I am so afraid of not being in a group that once I waited outside a coffee shop (with the air potent with smell of coffee) for 20 minutes, because I was afraid to go alone. Now, I have done that four-five times. Believe me, achcha lagta hai :D

7.     Forgive yourself. Know that you have a choice, you always do. But if you screw up doesn't mean the end of the world. It's the waiting part which is really hard. I know, I've been waiting for 4 and a half years now and I almost gave up the entire patience potion I had. But for past few days, I am regaining the composure. There's always something good for you in store. And if nothing comes up, meet me. We'll go, have a cup of coffee, chat and let go. Okay?

Till the next time beloved people, keep hope and live each day. After all we all have a Hero inside us Blessed Be!!

Hero - Mariah Carey


8 Jun 2012

Chhotu Narcissist Post

Hello Hello My Mystically Ensnared Fellas ;)! Blessed Be!

I wrote my FIRST EVER guest post! *Eyes glistening with glee* Swarnali from Dreams and Drama lovingly, enticingly and sweetly asked me to write a post for her. And how can I deny a sweet request?? So, I did not. Here is the link for the post. Oh, and though I definitely want you to read what I wrote *Please ignore certain spelling and grammatical errors in there*, I would request you to check out her Blog. She writes with a maturity, I've seen in very few 20 year olds. Yes Sir! 

So, Happy Reading to all of ya, while I go again and soak up the rain! 
Image Source: fwdnation.com
I've been feeling quite lost off late. I am recuperating slowly, so if my posts have been creepy and downright Dark/Psychotic/Non-sense Blabbers - I hope they don't make you run away. I wish you all the best of the world. Till the Next time fellas, keep living, keep fighting and keep emerging victoriously with your Golden Heart. :D Yep! This Beautiful song by Mark Knopfler, sent to me by a friend, who's always been there, even when I've not been. And yesterday, he reminded me of my love for music and it's ability to do wonders. Thank you Rahul Ganguly for teaching me to play a little bit of Guitar and introducing me to such awesome music. You'll never leave my memory. :) :)


7 Jun 2012

Let it Rain...

The World set itself right with the Rains pouring. I got drenched in rain for 20 minutes straight. Boy! I loved it. Now who doesn't believe in Magic? This is where it happens, on earth, before our eyes, around us! :) :) Okay, I am happy! I loved the water droplets caressing my face as I winked at the Sky. I had fought with him since morning, for he surely had plans to ruin my time on the terrace, but well, who knew - he'd surprise me with a nice cold shower! ;)

I miss my Black Mug. You know, the one which always accompanied me in my cold times? Here you go! This one's on rain too...Hmmmm...and I thought my love for rains was new found. How easily we forget the things we once used to love and move on, don't we? That's what intrigues me about humans. We have the ability to keep falling on our bums pretty hard, but then we spring back to life, just on the hope to fight again. Lovely! Psst: My mum's hoping my Blues Black Mug would break cause she hates that I even drink water in that! I will buy three black mugs if my this Mug breaks. Really. No one messes with my Mugs/Coffees/Ginger Tea.

Blues Black Mug Embracing Ginger Tea. 
Oh, have you ever noticed the little sparrows when it rains?? These days, while I am on terrace, there are these tiny birds, three pigeons and two Red-whiskered Bulbuls. They just sit there, all fluffy and quaffed, while I walk. In rains, they become all puffed up. It's funny! I just love watching them. 

Image Source: flickr.com
Who can beat the blues better than my ginger tea, rains and the birds! Oh and some may say, that rains are gloomy, but for me, they always mean washing away of  sorrows and miseries and pulling yourself above everything, bringing you close to yourself and Nature. *Definitely NOT in so many words* Lemme know lovely fellas, what Rains mean to you? Till the next time, people, cherish what you have and not chase after feathers in the rain. Blessed Be! :) :)

6 Jun 2012

Warriors of the Night

Blessed Be People!!!

After a long long long time, I felt at peace, even if it was for few minutes. You see, since I am officially jobless right now, my mind is in overdrive. Not that, I am not always thinking, but you know how women get. I kinda really fail miserably when it comes to NOT thinking! Dude, like seriously *As I look at God. Funny Guy* why you had to hard-wire that in us???!!! Hmpf. 

Image Source: vi.sualize.us
Nevermind, I went to the terrace today and vented all my frustration and lil bit of flab as I walked. While music was blaring in my ears *Linkin Park's - In Pieces*, I stopped suddenly. The sky looked so brilliantly blue and the fluffy clouds and the slightly cool breeze. Uff, I am back to my world! And I love it! *Exhales* *Grins* What the hell? Everything has a solution, an end. My *self-inflicted* miseries would end too. :D So, so, so...here's a little web of words I spinned. I am not sure, if I intended it to be dark, but have fun, reading it! Blessed be my 122 Stars!!! :D

The Mask was off, as I kissed your lips,
Dark, decadent, I was cold in your fingertips.
You danced with me, the dance of death,
But I won, breaking into bits, with every breath.


Image Source: flickr
Killer in Battle, Lover in life,
I loved you, you cut me like a knife.
I cried, with every pain,
But I won, leaving you in vain.


You said, I get what I gave,
Love, come with me to the grave.
I run run run, away from you,
You pull me close, oh to hurt me, what else would you do?
But I won, defeating you through and through.
Image Source: ashscrapyard.wordpress.com
Will never surrender, till I tear you asunder,
I'll go under, lightened like fire and heated like thunder.
The Sky will laugh with me, unfurling like Golden spool,
I shall drink the Moon and sing like a Fool.


Honey, I always win in the end,
I've known you now, there's nothing left to pretend.
You will chase me down,
And I'll haunt you like a hound,
But I won tonight, 
Letting you drown out of my sight.


Image Source: creativityfuse.com
Anybody knows about the phases of Moon?? Take care fellas. So till the next time, Catch the Stars and Make your Dreams Come True! Blessed Be!

4 Jun 2012

Versatility, Applause and Confetti.


Wassup Fellas!? Blessed Be!

How's the Cosmos treating you? I'm hoping you ain't disappointed with the whirlpools and tornadoes of life and living - cause that's what we are meant to do, live through it all and emerge with grace, while throwin' in your ace. 

So, well well well, they say empty mind is a Devil's workshop and too many thoughts also make you insane. I am somewhere in the limbo here. However, my rant is not what this Blog is about - though off late, I've just been doing that, but you all seem to love me still. *Appreciative Applause* What do I say? It's been a long journey and I've met you...found you all... as the constant presence that I look forward to, at the end of a tiring draining day of living. And even now, there are things which don't fail to surprise me. Especially an Award. Yes! I mean, I had forgotten that there are awards as well in blogging world... so I never expected one, but Rahul from Crash and Burn gave me a pleasant surprise by giving me a Versatile Blogger Award, though I'm unsure why me...cause I think I'm very repetitive, but who's complaining! I'm HAPPY!! :D (I totally heart his blog by the way. You must read his Rapist series - his stories remind of somewhat of Jeffrey Archer and it's bloody thrilling I tell ya!

There are rules to follow though, like Quid Pro Quo, so they are here, which I am following diligently, umm, bending them just a wee bit:

Rules are-
1. Create a new post. 

2. Thank the lovely person who nominated you for the award. 
3. Pass it on to your fellow bloggers. 
4. State 7 random facts about you.

*However, I understand how it gets...so it's on the recipient of the award, whether or not they want to pass on the award or not* You can thank me later. :) 

Reading is a pleasure and there are blogs I love to read always, so they deserve this as well: 

Meoww/Aditi/ Abhilasha: You all know her as Meoww...and she is as adorable as the kittens are. I know she's been awarded by Rahul already and she really needs to pick this up. People, she is the TRUE versatile one here....you can see her effervescence, emotions, maturity...everything, from her blog. My loving loving loving friend and fellow Wiccan she is... Go check her out or face my anger! :P

Swarnali/Dreams n Drama: Ah, sometimes, you meet people in the most unexpected situations and then their company becomes the most sought after one. I met Swarnali on A Lot of Pages and boy! We had so many things and thoughts to share! I love to talk to her and she blows my Blues away with her mere Hellow! :D Go, check her out, she is a literati, not to be ignored at all!

Blasphemous Asthete/Asthetic Blasphemy/Anshul: Who doesn't know him?? Brilliant writer and player of words, there's a delicate touch and finesse in whatever he rights. His writings inspire, push you to think and sometimes just tug at the strings of your heart. Very few people can reach the level of writing with simplicity and sophistication, that he has achieved. You've missed a lot, if you haven't read him. 

Atrocious Scribblings/Rahul: Okay, so every time I read what he writes, I have this vivid image of him, writing, rather scribbling down with a poker face and a tiny frown. Dear God, the stuff he writes, satirical humor/dark humor/slapstick/ plain humor/thought provoking rib tickling words! Please Please, do read him. I am sure you'll definitely gain a new perspective to view things. 

Confused Soul/A Walk Across The Bridge: She reminds me a lot of myself...no, I mean...I can relate to her writings so much, sometimes I wonder where is our connection? But I think, most of the people relate to her written word, for they are so humane and touching and filled with emotions so varied and colorful - You feel like you've just traveled to a different world and came back. She is Awesome! :D
Now 7 Random Facts about me. Damn! Anyhow, lemme write as I think. So here they are:
  1. I love Black stones/rocks/pebbles/gemstones. Yes! By the way, if you ever feel weighed down by emotions or life per se, take a clean black stone (I've also tried using the rock they use for roads. What is known as Gitti in Hindi) and hold it on your left palm and cover it with your right. Close you eyes and focus on the surface of the stone and visualize transferring all your tensions into it. Once your breathing is even, place the stone on ground/rather earth and feel yourself fly. Thank you Thea Sabin.
  2. I wish to marry a guy who owns a coffee estate for the sole reason that I'd get to have free coffees.
  3. I love talking to myself (Yeah, go figure, As if there's isn't enough proof of my loopiness already.)
  4. I'm good with fixing electronic stuff.
  5. I'm very good with damaging anything electronic.
  6. I have spent the most of my money on colors/brushes and books. 
  7. Annnnnnnnd I think Moon is a Man.
So now that I am done with this, keep loving me like you always do. Trust me, my randomness is harmless (Except may be for the electronics ). Till the next time lovely people, live life like it's your last day, Say I love you and I am sorry like you'll never get a chance and believe in what your heart reaches out to.

1 Jun 2012

A New Beginning

The night is Beautiful. Unholy, Unclothed, Sliding and Shimmering, like a broken ribbon. I watch her unfurl around me as I take in the glorious smoke within my lungs and release it slowly, tainting the night, with my touch of breath. She is pleased and turns gray, like my vision.

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I tug at my collar and pull it up, blocking the cold breeze, that had been victoriously freezing my insides. It's 3 AM and I stand on the pavement lining the bridge, almost fifty feet higher than the flowing expanse of mercurial river below. I take another puff and tap the cigarette ash off. The burning end smolders like  a shimmering ruby as I toss the impotent stub into the air. I don't need it anymore. I need her.
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It has been almost a week that I have heard or seen or felt her. Her eyes, her voice, her fragrance, her laughter - it had infected my heartbeat, my breath and my thoughts. Her skin was smooth and soft like a ripple on the sea. Every curve of her body, every inch of hers - was mine. Her lips - pink, moist and supple,  were like poisonous ivy on my lips - intoxicating and deadly. Skin to skin, heart to heart, soul to soul. We were entwined in harmony and melancholy like Celtic knots. Knots - however tightly tied they are - you'll always find a space, where apparently nothing can reach, but that is the weakness which can rip open the knot.

I was lost in the labyrinth of emotions with her. I was in love. But there is a void in me. A void, which no one could fill, no one could reach to, no one could see, no one could feel - she had touched the void. And now she is tearing me apart. I'd never given much thought to love or being in love. A woman was a woman to me - sometimes I'd objectify her, sometimes I'd worship her, sometimes I'd be her equal, sometimes she'd rule me and sometimes she was just another human being. But She had altered something in my very own idealism. She was the woman to me. Like a spectrum - light scattered into different colors. But when the Light is too Bright, it blinds you and then Darkness is what you see. The day before our lives took a U-turn, I was talking to her. Our conversations were smooth - I loved to hear her talk. There was a restless aura around her, when she spoke. As if, there was so much inside her that she wanted to unburden. I knew she needed someone to listen to her. She was strong and mature and independent to the world, but behind the closed doors, she was insecure, lonely and unloved. I was lucky to have loved her.
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"I never understood love, Parth." She says, her lower lip pouting indignantly, distracting me from the words which were flowing from her mouth.
"There's a need to understand it? You just feel it dude." I say, as I stretch myself on the couch, staring out at the sunset, while she sits close to me, playing with the buttons of my shirt, her fingers just shy of my skin. My heartbeat is uneven.
"Hmmm. But you know, I am so scared. Sometimes, when I think that you will leave me, it hurts me like crazy. It's like physical pain. My stomach starts hurting." She says, her eyes widening in a dreamlike trance, for a brief second. I chuckle at her expression and pull her close to kiss her forehead.
"Aah, but sweetheart, why would I leave you? You're the only one on my mind." I say, trying to even out her frown.
"Yea, but you are always surrounded by women. They love you. They find you charming and so cool. Some of them are so hot! If I were you, I'd have dated someone else." She says, her insecurity and fear, emanating from her in waves, crashing over me like frozen ice. I hug her tightly and say, "Kyrah, I love you. Not them. None of them. I may flirt, be affectionate even, but it's you who I love. Truly, madly, deeply. No woman can even come close to what you are. You've me hooked to you lady." I say. All of it was true. No other woman could hold me so intrigued, so caught up, so much in love with her. Kyrah was different - she was not typically beautiful - but she was beautiful nonetheless - charming. There was a glow on her face - even when she was sad and burdened - which gave her an ethereal look. Her eyes were dark, large and innocent. There was a mystery and twinkle in them which she disguised so carelessly. Her smile was the best - like a child's. She knew it and used it liberally. But, there were so many fears in her heart. So many. She had a rough life and she was lonely - holding on to the void within her, like me. 
The night following the day, she asked me to leave her, to give her a break. Give her some time. I understood. I'd been getting closer to one of my friends, but it wasn't love. However, it was tough to make her understand. She was afraid to lose me and she was battling with her emotions - to be understanding or to be jealous or to be indifferent. She was scared that she would anger me. But life's like this. We think, overthink and assume. Talking feels like a good option, but you ought to be on the same page. And our pages had turned. I'd agreed to the silent phase we both needed. And now, as I recall, I still love her. But she has disappeared. From my life, from my contacts, from my inbox, from my facebook and from my blood. And I've let her go. But she has added to the void, which has expanded and covered my entire heart. Do I tell her, that I really love her? Will she believe me even now, knowing that I still have affections for other women, that I cannot help but love the others too? Will she understand that I love only her? That I've come so far, just to say - I love you.

I watch the sun rise at 6:45 AM. Time to leave. The noises around me were waking up as I hailed a taxi to leave her city forever.



PS: This Linkin Park Song inspired me to write this one here. Also check out the band called A7x (Avenged Seven Fold). They have a brilliant song called Dear God. Below is the lyrics video for you.


 PPS: I will be back with some obvious but fascinating info. My University life has come to an end and I am at cross roads with a lot of things. Taking a break for sometime at hope.


Till the next time people, don't let the spirit of your joy, die. Chop Chop, as George says! Blessed Be!