30 Nov 2012

In Love, Always Will Be.


And when we meet, 
which I'm sure we will.
All that was there, will be there still.
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue.
And you'll think...
That I moved on.

"She looks beautiful tonight. I muse, leaning against the wall, as she zips up her little red dress. It snuggles around her curves like a second skin. She brushes her unruly hair, that looks as ravishing as the night making love to dawn. I realize I am smiling and staring at her at the same time. Not able to hold myself back anymore, I move towards her and kiss her neck softly. Her dark eyes widen and her beautiful red lips form a tiny "o"in disbelief at my atrociousness, as little goosebumps run across her sinewy arms.
Eyes tell a whole new story, what words can never tell

I chuckle despite of myself and go back to looking at her.

She shakes her head sideways.

"You seem cold. Want a little warmth?" I tease her with a wink, expecting a warm reaction.

It's never too late.

She ignores me mightily. A likely behavior, for she will find more substantial warmth outside tonight, which definitely my arms cannot give anymore. I exhale loudly.

"Have fun." I put my hands in my jacket pockets and give her a non-committal look. She doesn't hear me. The awkward silence that follows is interrupted by the tinkling of her multiple metal bangles.

She finally walks towards me and stops. I expected her to touch me but something in her eyes tell me that she isn't ready yet. To accept me. To love me. Or may be my sudden absence still haunts her, reminding her of her past too much. She raises her beautiful eyes, with tears pooling in her eyes and takes a deep breath. I want to hold her tight and tell her, "I love you." But she wouldn't approve. I already breached my limit by kissing her.

"GO. Before I stop you." I whisper tenderly.

She shrugs, clutching her purse for some warmth and walks out the door, her red pumps clicking on the floor, making my heart hammer around in my chest. My heart, that doesn't beat anymore.

If only I could tell her, I still live with her. If only I could tell her, I may be dead but still alive. If only she could see me here. If only, I could touch her.


Love is dark, love is blind, love is immortal, love is divine .

If you could only see...

It's been a while, isn't it? Some of the rarest things are those that are worth cherishing. Like stories told by Naani or Daadi. And as Maithili says, QOTD - "We all are stories in the end..." Horror and Mysticism have been my favorite genres always, so posts written by Phatichar are the best ones I never forget to read, brilliant weaver of spine chilling and spooky stories. You must check his work out! :D

So, see you more often fellas! Blessed Be!! :)

16 Oct 2012

Time to Take A Bow

Someone told me yesterday, that music is the best way to start any conversation. It is also the best way to end one. 
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Someday I would learn to play this.
Couple of days back, I burned few bridges that had led me to the major part of my life. My College life, to be precise. I also saw the phrase - History repeats itself - come true. This time, however, I garnered a choice, to move on or stay back and fix what went awry. And I did, move on. You know, when you have to make hard decisions and you feel like you could go absolutely wrong, I say, you must take that risk. Sometimes, you might end up alone, but it's better to be that, than letting your self-esteem be pulped by a bunch of arse-holes. (I dislike expletives, but I wish I could have them freely thrown whenever I really want to). So next time, as someone once said, you decide to give up because of a dented self-esteem, just look around that you are not living with a bunch of...yep! Exactly those. You'd feel happy. I do now. I've no strings attached. Absolutely none. Except the ones I tied myself. And yes, with time, I will cut them off too.

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Touche'
Seems like now is the time where I am realizing a lot of things. Like how written word impacts you. Books, they have started to hold such a solid ground in my life, that I prefer them to coffee. (Sometimes.) And coffee has become like an estranged partner, who takes hard time to please. I oblige happily though. You know, for a sneaky date with it. 

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:D :D :D I am not addicted, I swear. 
Humor. A friend of mine believes I have it to the hilt, I just need to bring it out in written. If only. I was shackled a lot metaphorically and breaking links one by one is taking time. May be you'll see another side of mine soon. Hopefully, I would stay true to myself. Actually, that has never been an issue, which seems to be the issue off late. Funny thing, this statement - Be Yourself -  is. You cut someone slack and then pull them  back for doing the things they feel happy with. 

I met someone, who was a jock during his college. He had the most forlorn and heartbreaking demeanor about him, which made me ask him if he was all right. Eyes are truly windows to one's heart (Soul, this word makes me cringe now.) He said he used to have piercings and goth punk stage, when he had started with college. He also was into adventurous stuff and now that he's having a downhill time, he believes God is punishing him. I wanted to say that it's not God who is punishing you (Why do we make a figure to blame him afterwards?), it's you punishing yourself. I realized everything you do, comes down to the choices you make. And I don't care if it sounds philosophical, but I have come to believe it as the ultimate truth. There's no God that way, if you see. If things turn out good, we make a better choice. If they don't we blame God. Why? I am not an atheist, but I am not a pantheist either! I asked him to make better choices and not regret what he did, since he has chosen a better way of life now, as he believes. I am glad, he left with a smile. I am glad, I made a choice too.

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Welcome to the Club, my friend.
As I always say, Blessed Be my people. I love Abstract. Happy reading! 

PS: What is this melancholy wrapping around me? Anyone up for coffee?
PS II: You may stop reading me soon, the way I am writing. Won't you? So, I say Thank You for bearing with me.

29 Sep 2012

Epoch.

Boredom hits hard. doesn't it? 

New look again, you ask? Yes. Minimalism is something that has suddenly become very appealing and bold colors attract me like a diabetic to sugar. Here you have, a confluence of blue and rose,known to have a soothing effect. Wanderlust (not the movie) is the new kind of lust that I've discovered and there are so many unexplored avenues, that coming back takes time. Alleys that have no names and faces that I don't remember call me to them. I have assumed a role of someone, who just exists, in a bubble. Glad that bubbles are colorful, even if they burst. One can be hopeful, right?

The World makes itself right when you just tilt your head.
Have you ever thought how dreams would feel like, if they suddenly become real? Good dreams I would say. Nightmares are a reality anyway, so their manifestation would certainly knock the breath out of some of us.
Embracing yourself after a long time will warm you up.

I have suddenly found myself in a place, which never existed for me, though I wished when younger, that it did. And it feels darn good to be here. Something which may give no monetary return at all, but the peace and satisfaction I lacked, have started to trickle down like drops of dew in my heart. One thing new which I've noticed is, how we inadvertently allow people to control us. Suggestions, from people you know and from those whom you will never see the next day, arrive like morning newspapers. Headlines will glare at you and you cannot simply not see them. I wish dogs could pick up people too and never bring them back.

See? 

Morbid much?

I am happy I learnt. Ostentatious, you may muse at my new way of rambling, but let go. It's easier that way.  Someday, words will mark the dawn of your legacy, till then, save them only for the moments and eyes, which do not kill but push you to stand up.

Don't believe in what I say, but believe in yourself.

As I always say - Blessed Be!

Carpe' Diem fellas!

25 Aug 2012

Wooden Dreams on Fire (Concluding Part) - By Maithili

Read Part 1 and Part 2


The four of them sat huddled together near the fireplace. Although Natasha was eager to start the session with Jacob right away, Jacob had held it for the morning. It was important that Natasha become comfortable around him and trust him in this journey and it needed time. It was unusual for Jacob to take someone into trance without extensive counselling but he had no choice here. The least he could do was to get Natasha talk more.
           
"So Natasha, had you had any visions before you moved into the wooden house?" Jacob asked casually as they sipped their coffee.
"No.. I mean I always had a vivid recollection of my dreams. But nothing that could be called visions."
"You never dreamt of someone you never saw?"
"Never.."
"Do you have any kind of phobia?" Jacob tried to explore this aspect.
"Fire.
Image Source: stuffkit.com
Uttara looked stunned. 

"Any particular reason why?" He went on
"Not that I can remember."
"Jacob, there is a spirit. It's not just her imagination!" Rebecca cut in before Jacob asked more.
"Rebecca, it's my job to know. You of course believe that there is a spirit and I don't counter that. I need to establish that there is no other reason for her disturbing dreams." Jacob calmed her. 
"Rebecca why is it that now I feel the presence more than I felt before?" Natasha questioned.
"I was wondering when you would ask it. A women's overall senses are heightened during pregnancy. Some believe its an adaptation for women to protect themselves and the unborn child." She said in a detached tone, perhaps in sad remembrance of her loss.
"That explains a lot of things..." Uttara joined in. 

The next morning, Natasha and Jacob sat in his office. Natasha reclined in the chair while Rebecca and Uttara observed from a distance. Slowly Jacob relaxed Natasha and she slipped into heavy drowsiness. His words seemed to transport her into her world of dreams where bizarre images played in a slideshow. Jacob made her concentrate on each without panicking. Slowly absorbing each frame, clearing the jumble of emotions.

"What do you see Natasha?"
"A woman in red sari and a man in white. They are walking around the fire."
"No one else?"
"Me..."

Uttara and Rebecca are frozen at this reply.

"You? What are you doing?" Jacob asked
"I brought her here."
"Who is she?
"My best friend Charu. She is in love with Abhimanyu. I'm happy they are getting married.
"What year is it?"  
"1890"
              
"Holy cow! She's in another lifetime!! She knew the spirit!" Rebecca shrieks from the other side where Natasha can't hear them.
              
 "Why is no one else present?"
 "Charu and Abhimanyu are from different castes. Equivalent but different castes. Abhimanyu's father is the head of the village. No one will agree to the match. But Abhimanyu has already put kusha into the fire. They are married."
Image Source: flickrhivemind.net
               
Rebecca looked perplexed but now Uttara knows what it's about. 

"Kusha leaves in fire! Best friend bringing the girl. It's Gandharva vivah!" Of course she knows. She has done post graduation in Sanskrit and this form of marriage is well known in literature. It's even the most advisable form in Kamasutra! 
             
"Do you wait till the end of the ceremony?" Jacob asked.
"No, I have tasks to attend. I'm Charu's servant in position although we are best friends."
"Is Charu happy?"
"She is scared. But Abhimanyu is determined to have her. He knows the mantras and the promises. I m scared too, to have brought Charu but Abhimanyu told me, "There is no superior authority for approval other than God. “If God is for us, who could be against us?If God or Gandharvas have witnessed it, everyone deemed to have witnessed it, and hence there is no need to register it. There is no need to prove it to any other authorities once you have cleared it with the heavens. It is set in stone.". 

"I'm relieved that they are married. I go to my house after Charu hugs me and mouths Thank you."
               
"When do you next see them?" Jacob asks wiping the sweat from his brow.
"A month after their marriage. They are hiding in the woods in small wooden house. Charu is pregnant and they can no longer hide it from their parents as she is showing all the signs of pregnancy. Abhimanyu had chalked a plan to escape from the village as soon as the sun sets."
"What are you doing there?"
"I have brought Charu again from her parents house. They had been secretly meeting all this while after their marriage too."
"Did you leave again or wait?"
"I left as to not arise any suspicion."

"What happened to Charu and Abhimanyu?"

The question tenses Natasha. Her muscles tighten and Jacob is worried that she will be in agony.

"Abhimanyu had gone to fetch water for Charu. They killed him!!"
"Who?"
"The villagers. They have come to know. They are in a mad rage. I'm horrified. I want to help Charu but I can see no way I can."
"What are you doing there?"
"I'm trying to sneak in through the back door but Charu doesn't open. I scream at her to run but she stays put. She is telling me that Abhimanyu has told her to wait till he returns and she is going to wait for him no matter what. I cry, I threaten but my pleas fall on deaf ears. She is petrified but she is not willing to leave.
"What are the villagers doing?"
"They... they are setting the house on fire! Fire engulfs the house in no time. She is trapped. She is running in the house like a blinded animal. She is screaming for help but no one can help her. She is charred to death..."
Image Source: moviefancentral.com
The experience turned too violent for Natasha to endure. She was in pain. Jacob calms her with soothing words, easing her into her present self. She was in a pool of sweat. It was only sometime after she regained composure, Rebecca and Uttara entered the room.

Although they knew paranormal things were going to be revealed today, no one could have thought what they just experienced. 

It was Vivan's phonecall which breaks the eery silence.

When he got to know their location he requested them to come back. The urgency in his tone didn't go unnoticed by Natasha. 

Jacob and Rebecca accompanied Natasha and Uttara to the wooden house. Vivan was waiting outside along with Melissa. Seeing Natasha he pulled her close and held on to her. 

"Natasha, you were right! There is something wrong here.
"Vivan?" she looked confused.
"Natasha, remember the sari you wore when we signed the marriage papers? It was on fire when I returned from the bath..."
       
                Fire, marriage, baby.....

It was Rebecca who summed it up. 
"She is desperate. She is asking for help. She knows the connection Natasha. She is reaching out to you.. To Charu..."
"What can I do?"
"You have already done. You have figured out her sorrow. She was communicating her agony. Natasha she is aching for Abhimanyu. She is waiting for him still.. .on this side... Abhimanyu on the other hand might have already passed the light...
"What light?" Vivan asked perplexed.

Image Source: blog.redfin.com

The entire story was unfolded by Natasha. 
"The spirits which haunt are those which could not pass the light and leave this realm. They might have unfulfilled wishes or simply not aware that they are no longer alive. But the rarest happens, in case of children, where they do not leave because they have been ordered by their parents to not move unless told. Here Charu is waiting because Abhimanyu has told her not to move. She is waiting for him. Through the years. Through the various constructions on the same land", Rebecca said with grief.
"We need to free her. Unite her with Abhimanyu." Natasha said
"That's what you have done always. Unite her with Abhimanyu. It's your second chance to save her. Something which you could not do in that lifetime." Jacob smiles.
"But how?" Uttara asked.
"It's simple. She needs positive energy. She needs prayers.That is why prayers are always held when someone dies. To ease them into the other world.  We have to arrange for a mass or a puja in this house. Group prayers to spread the positivity and love her. Let her know that Abhimanyu has passed on to the other end and it's time for her to go." Rebecca added.
                -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPILOGUE

Rebecca can't contain the joy she feels as they go to bed each night. Separated by a bundle of joy who lies between them. Their baby, their child. She runs her index figure along the lines of her husband's face who gently kisses her hand and wishes her good night. Life is complete :)

Vivan and Natasha have the wooden house to themselves. A little girl in pink frock runs around. The house is filled with her laughter. They name her Charu.
              
              On the other end...

              It's the Gandharva Marriage,
              If God is with us, who can be against us?
              She glows in the radiance of his love,
              Here no boundaries to limit her love,
              No division of birth, no shackles of customs,
              She is with the man she waited for,
              and who waited for her...
              Too tired to enter the cycle,
              Too consumed to part again...
Image Source: webstockpro.com

              "What did you do all the while?"
              "Watched over you." he answers

              And they are one again... 
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Whoa!! Wasn't this awesome!? Maithili, as I have always said, is one of the best storytellers on the block! :D I could picture every scene! I hope you all loved it as much as I did!! :D

Pour in your thoughts People!! Blessed Be!!

20 Aug 2012

Wooden Dreams on Fire (Part 2) - By Maithili

Read Part One Here

Natasha and Uttara were in a dilemma. Was Uttara's maid Melissa trustworthy? Nevertheless, what Melissa had said had dumbfounded them. Vivan would have vehemently opposed this idea.

Ever since that morning in the wooden house, Natasha had been staying with Uttara. Vivan had ofcourse felt that the window must have been kept open and the wind might have done the damage. Natasha was very sure she had bolted all the windows. She was no way going to live in that house. Not when it could endanger her baby.

Natasha had confided in Uttara. Uttara had, to Natasha's relief, believed in what she had to say. It was comforting to share her anxieties with someone. While Natasha was narrating the entire story, Melissa had eavesdropped on it.
"Natasha Madam, I know what you are talking about..." she meekly interrupted.
"What do you know Melissa?" Uttara probed.
"Madam before you moved into this house, Rebecca Madam lived here.""Of course I know that. We purchased this house from her. What does she have to do with it?" Uttara was impatient.
"Rebecca madam can feel the presence of spirits."
"What rubbish. She is an artist. Her husband is a psychiatrist."
"Trust me madam, she knows how to do it. Her husband can take anyone into past life! Rebecca Madam had told her husband that she knows there is a spirit in the wooden house. I had heard them talk." She added.
"Uttara, do you have Rebecca's number? I want to meet her." Natasha was excited.              
"Natasha this is madness! We don't even know Rebecca properly. How can we trust her?"
"Look at me Uttara! I haven't slept in days. I keep on guard to protect my baby. I want to live in peace. Rebecca is my hope."

After much persuasion, Uttara had agreed to accompany her to Rebecca's house. Rebecca now lived on the other side of town. They chose a day when Vivan was in Dehradun.

Natasha was frantic. She had never seen anyone who could talk to spirits. The image of a woman with long hair let loose, vermillon on her partition, black robes, lot of beaded necklaces and crimson lipstick is what she had concocted in her mind.

Nervous and hesitant, they rang Rebecca's door bell. The bell was that of a bird chirping. The house itself looked bright with sunshine yellow walls. The door was opened after a lag of 5 minutes.

A woman in her thirties, wearing an apron and with a spoon in her hand, answered. She had short hair cut in a pixie haircut. Her eyes were brown and her face devoid of any make up. She wore a thin chain with a cross on it. This was Rebecca.

Image Source: ehow.co.uk
"Hey Uttara, what a pleasant surprise!" she beamed.
"Sorry for not informing you before hand." Uttara found her voice. Rebecca looked young with this haircut!
"No worries, come in please." She invited them.
They entered her house, full of paintings, windchimes and framed photographs. Natasha instantly took a liking to Rebecca's warm personality.
"Good that you dropped in today. I'm just done baking a cake to mark the spring. I love the weather!"

After the formal introductions were done, Uttara broached the topic of the wooden house and it brought a change in Rebecca's expression. She was grim.
             
"Uttara I do not know anything about the house. Melissa is ofcourse mistaken." She curtly replied and tried to change the topic.
"Oh Rebecca, please help me! I know you can help. Save me and my baby." Natasha pleaded and continued till Rebecca lost her cool.
"Natasha, I'm telling you I know nothing about the house!" Rebecca raised her voice.
"Fine. You don't want to help then don't. What do you care if the nightmares don't let me sleep even when I have been given sleeping pills. What do you care if my baby dies. You are happy with your bright spring. You are just spineless." Natasha chided her and made her way to the door. She almost bumped into the man at the door.
"Madam, no one talks that way to my wife. Not in the least, standing in my house!" A tall and well built man in a black suit said that to Natasha but not in the least in an intimidating tone.
"Jacob, please let them go..." Rebecca was crying.
"No Rebecca, what is it that these people want? You say that the house is haunted and they call you a witch! They throw stones in our house and almost kill you. They killed our child Rebecca! Now that we are not intruding, they want us to help!" Jacob shouted.

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Natasha cringed. Rebecca's child was killed? Oh my! What had she said to Rebecca!!
               
They sat in the room upstairs. Jacob and Rebecca sat hand in hand. Uttara and Natasha in anticipation.

"7 months.. I was 7 months pregnant. We had just moved into our dream house. We wanted our child to breathe his first amidst the beauty of nature. Jacob's practice was good and I reveled in the creative outbursts and inspirations I got in that place. The wooden house intrigued me. My father studied occult sciences. He taught me the knitty gritties of the science. I sensed the presence of a spirit there. This spirit was dormant. Not harming anyone. But I could feel the melancholy. You get that depressing aura in that house. I wanted to free that spirit. I didn't know how. I wanted to know who lived there earlier but before I could find it out, someone spread rumors that I was a witch. I was undeterred. Stones were pelted on our windows every other day. One of those days I was painting and there was a loud bang on the door. I saw a group of people standing outside. I knew they meant harm. I ran out of the rear door but could not escape before someone threw a stone at me and I tumbled down the flight of stair in the back yard. Jacob had returned from work for lunch and could save me. But not my child... My sweet child..." she burst into tears

Jacob held her close. Planting a peck on her cheeks now and then to console her. How he loved her!
               
Natasha didn't know what to say. But she desperately needed help.
As if reading her mind, Rebecca answered, "I will help you. I will try to save atleast this child."
Natasha felt a huge weight lifted off her chest. She hugged Rebecca, "Thank you..." she whispered.

"Rebecca, why is it that Vivan is unaffected while I'm troubled?" Natasha asked.
"IT depends. Some people have extra sensory perception. They can feel what others cannot. Or maybe the spirit is making contact only with you."
"What? Is it possible?? Can the spirit talk to me?"
"Natasha, it's a intelligent spirit. And by that I mean, the paranormal entity is able to interact and respond and is aware of the living realm. Its a soul which once walked on earth."
"So you use the Ouijia board to communicate?"
"Never. Its a dangerous toy. It invites demonic spirits which might never leave. The spirit in your house is not harmful."
"How do you know?"
"By the mere fact that it has never tried to kill you or anyone for that matter."
"What does it want then?"
"It only wants to communicate with you."
"Why me?"
"It wants you to know something. But what and why, only your dreams will tell."

Image Source: funhold.com
Vivan called Natasha. She realised it had been a long time since she left home. Vivan was staying in Dehradun for another day. This gave Natasha and Uttara the much needed  time. Rebecca insisted they stay with them for the night and they obliged. (To be Continued)
           ___________________________________________________________________

18 Aug 2012

Time for "One Such Story"

Blessed be everybody!

My first step into blogging world was rather boring. Honestly, when I read some of my initial posts, I wonder why I used to sound like an Audio Cassette. There was a lot of doubt in my head as to who on this earth would read something that I write? But there were these few people, who changed the meaning of writing for me - you know how a first comment, positive comment feels like, don't you? That is how I found so many wonderful people online and she is one of the most inspiring story tellers I look forward to read every single time. :) :)
Image Source: flickr.com (alexey05)
I remember very few firsts and one of the loveliest and warmest memory I have of is that her, Maithili's who creates worlds and lives like magic at One Such Story. The Tagline to her blog says - We all are stories in the end...  I love her and the place! You must all know her, for she is a wonderful story teller - and she was the one to introduce me to A Lot of Pages, where my love for the written word grew leaps and bounds.

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She admins and owns the Darlings of Venus, where women from the entire blog world prove, that's it's not true that we only bitch slap or cat fight with one another. Do visit this place for a wonderful and myriad emotions of every day! She is beyond her age and truly makes me feel that age is just a number :) We have shared laughters, tears, gossips and I would always rely on her suggestion when it comes to a clear understanding of any given situation. Presenting to you, another friendly contribution from my very own, Soul Sister - Maithili.

___________________________________________________________________

A long time after MSM announced that I would be writing for her, I finally found time to make good of that promise. Sorry MSM for keeping you waiting although the perfect plot for your blog had been conceived long back. I do hope this story turns out good for all the anticipation that went into it. Thank you so much MSM for being so patient and not coercing me to hurry up and ofcourse for deeming me worthy of writing on your blog :) Blessed I'm! 

Wooden Dreams On Fire

She sat on the wooden chair with a cup of hot coffee. She wondered if there was any point in telling Vivan about last night. He would brush it aside and attribute it to her guilt. Guilt of leaving behind her home and eloping with Vivan. She always had strong instincts, something she inherited from her mother. How she wished she could talk to her mother. Her ma would definitely have believed her. There was something wrong with the house..                     

Natasha felt the cold wind on her neck and suddenly jolted from her thoughts. She had a feeling that someone was standing right behind her. It was confirmed when she felt a pair of arms hug her from behind. 

"Sweetie, what are you doing up so early?" Vivan asked as he kissed her earlobe. 
"Couldn't wait for the day to break.." she said as she freed herself and faced him.
"Natasha I have to go to Dehradun today" he said holding her.
"No way Vivan, I can't stay here all alone!" she almost screamed at him.
"Natasha please understand. I have just joined work. I cannot say no to assignments. We are lucky I even found work here!"
"Vivan, then take me along. I'm scared to be on my own here." she tried to cajole him.
 "I will call Uttara and ask her to stay here with you. As it is Jiju is out on the cantonment. She will be happy to come over.
Even though this arrangement had pacified her for the time being, she was anxious about the night. Wasn't it Amavasya? She tried to chuck the thought. She was over-reacting maybe.

Uttara was her friend and Vivan's cousin sister. Her husband Deepak was deployed with the cantonment in Mussoorie. Uttara and Natasha hadn't been great friends at college but the wholehearted support that Uttara had lent  them when Vivan and Natasha landed at their house after marriage, had brought them very close. This house was only a few yards away from Uttara's house and when the house was offered at a very cheap price, Vivan had not wasted a minute to buy it on rent. Natasha now wondered why the house was never taken given the scenic location it offered. One could hear  the waterfalls from here and the woods were close by.

As Vivan had expected, Uttara was more than happy to stay with Natasha. They had a good time together and Natasha was beginning to think that she was afterall only imagining things until she went to sleep. She and Uttara decided to sleep in the same room near the fire place. 

She dreamt of home. Of Ma and baba, of the day when she fell from her bicycle, of her favorite flowers in the balcony, of her first kiss.... little flashes of the past.. and then she saw.. She saw a young girl in a red saree and a man in white kurta pajama, they were walking around the fire in the forest. In another moment she felt as if she was the girl walking hand in hand with the man, in the next she saw as an onlooker and then she suddenly saw fire, fire engulfing everything. She opened her eyes but the images stayed. She closed her eyes, well aware that there was someone else in the room other than Uttara. She was afraid of who she might see if she opened her eyes. She just lay that way, petrified to even move and terrified to sleep..

She let out a sigh of relief when Uttara woke up in the morning. Natasha rushed to the washroom. Last nights events had been mind wrecking for her and it was apparent to Uttara that something was terribly wrong with Natasha. When Natasha returned, Uttara was waiting with a cup of strong coffee for her. 

"Natasha, are you pregnant?" The question took her by surprise.
"No Uttara, why did you think so?"
 "Well you look pale and you suddenly are more sensitive to smell. You even have a lot of mood swings." 

The thought had never crossed Natasha's mind. Vivan and Natasha had been married for 3 months. The first 2 months she sometimes felt scared that someone is around, but the past month had been torturous. She experienced dreams which weren't related to her. Vivan and she had had a court marriage, not like what she saw in dreams. She denied getting physical with Vivan for for 15 days as she had increasingly felt someone was watching them. But what if she conceived before that? 

Natasha found herself giddy with the possibilities striking her. 
She relented to go with Uttara to the doctor and her doubts were confirmed. She was a month into her pregnancy...

When Vivan returned in the evening, Natasha stood at the door with a smile on her face. Vivan hadn't seen Natasha so happy since the day they had moved in here. She hugged him tightly and he was pleasantly surprised by her physical show of affection.
"Baby, I m pregnant." She gently whispered in his ears
They were too happy that day. Natasha was delighted to see the glow on her husband's face. Touchwood

That night she lay entwined in his arms, spent and happy.. The next morning she woke up with a smile. She had no nightmares last night! She was going to do all it took to make Vivan happy. She thought of preparing his favorite food today.. 
She stepped into the hall to make her way into the kitchen.. She shrieked at what she saw in the hall..

"Vivaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!

Their framed photographs were lying shattered on the floor. The petals of the flowers in their yard were strewn on the photographs..  

Someone wasn't happy in the house and had made it a point to convey that... (To be continued)

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Ohhh, she left me wanting more and I am sure you'd be unable to wait for the next part!! :D :D I wish to write horror some day too! :D Do look out for the continuing part here!!!

Till the next time! Love and live, like today is your last day!!

15 Aug 2012

Freedom From Fear


Disclaimer: All the opinions expressed in this post are clearly mine and are not directed towards any class/community or group, whatsoever. Happy Independence Day!

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high…….Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action, into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.” Rabindranath Tagore.

Every year, we Indians “celebrate” 15th August religiously and then forget about it. Oh, like the men with black robes and hammer in the rule, we love to talk, frown at the imbecility of our people and cluck our tongues at the lack of knowledge of our people. We are the educated lot. We don’t participate in the andolans because it is bullcrap. We know what our rights are. We know how all of this will end. So why bother? Why even vote? Things are not going to change anyway. My great grandfather was a freedom fighter, though I was quite young when he passed away, I remember how Independence Day was not the only day we spoke about our country. There was a flood of emotions in his voice, every time he reminisced about the days of struggle. People lived it, the feeling of freedom. But today, we just celebrate the fact that we are alive. Who knows, when at the next turn someone would jump on you/shoot you/rape you/blast you for speaking what you feel.

Image Source: adamokeefe.wordpress.com
We are a scared bunch of people. Look at the things that have happened – Guwahati case – we are scared of admitting our own perversion and therefore, we blame the girl who was dressed inappropriately. Forgive me if I am wrong, but the way our ancestors used to dress, rape/molestation rates should have been rocket high, but unfortunately, the situation presently, when we rant about gender equality, is abysmal. BMW case has been going on since 1999, and now Mr. Nanda has been granted relief by the Supreme Court – by making him do community service for two years. His punishment was that of 5 years – to be noted, of which he served two.
Image Source: ibnlive.in.com
We are scared of the fact that the masses are becoming conscious of their rights and therefore, we have Babas and Annas doing Andolans for us so that we get a stage to voice our needs. Has that made any difference? The so called Baba has openly formed allegiance with a political party – because it is indeed obvious that there would not be any spine in the motion, if there are no funds or political power. Anna’s Andolan has seen lack of people and well, now we also see, they have made an entry into the Parliament.

Image Source: ibnlive.in.com
We are an old dying bunch, who are ruled by the people older than the Harappa and apparently, India boasts of the highest youth population. We all need money for survival and we do not give a sh*t about where the economy goes, how inflation rates are spiraling up and what status we present to the world. We are hollow that way. We build our own worlds and live. Therefore, when Mr. Aamir Khan’s Satyamev Jayate was a hit, it was for mainly two reasons I believe – First, It was Aamir Khan. He has maintained the clean and perfectionist image (Even though we might have in the past, flouted over his divorce from Reena Dutta); Second, we were nodding our heads furiously that finally someone has the balls to speak on behalf of us on the national television.

Image Source: csrindia.org
We are a bunch of people, who are governed by a piece of document called the Constitution of India but do not even know what lies within it. It is one of the largest legal documents in the world with 395 Articles and 12 Schedules (though with the Amendments included, it is 448 Articles as of March 2012). It encompasses our rights, freedoms, privileges and everything that will make us a sensible lot. But it is bulky and no one cares to go into the intricacies. Let things be as they are. And yes, we are emerging as superpower, oh Sure. We will keep emerging. Have you ever wondered the stance that India has, before Uncle Sam? We are like the cousin who is trying to get attention by acting important and bossy, but gets bullied by him nonetheless. We keep pointing fingers at the Prime Ministers, Presidents and All the silver graying men in power. But have we ever tried to step into the shoes of the one who takes on the power. It blinds, it crushes your mental capacity and it makes you take decisions, such that you might not be alive to regret the next day.
Image Source: bssedelhi.com
The point of this post is not to show the pessimist attitude that I have towards our country, but to highlight few things which need to be seen. We, all of us, write and therefore, words have the power to provoke thoughts and thoughts lead to action. We, by becoming aware of the lacunae in our system, can at least contribute little, by writing about it. Feel free to drop in what you feel about 66th year of our Independence.

Till the next time fellas, let your mind be free of fear and may you break away the shackles of the mundane. 

Happy Independence Day! Blessed Be!!

12 Aug 2012

Bonds of Silk

Blessed Be everyone!

Have you ever seen the threads of silk? So delicate and fine, light as feather and smooth as a wisp of smoke. Yet, when you try to rip it apart, it will leave your fingers bruised. It is not as delicate as you think it might be. 
We, tend to underestimate certain things at face value.

Image Source: koleksifoto.com
Some relationships are like silk - they are there - light, invisible, beautiful - yet strong, underestimated by many, but banked upon by many as well. As I had mention earlier, I have another friendly contribution from a young and vibrant blogger Swarnali, who writes at Dreams 'n' Drama

She is younger than I am and I treat her like my younger sister. I scold her, chastise her and love her. She brings out the protective side of me. I have not found a more realistic person than her. She sees things as they are, perceives information with open mind and I truly admire her sense of individuality. You all must read the  poems she writes! Simplicity is a tough task to achieve and she does it beautifully. Presenting to you Metamorphosis by her!
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Hello, fellow MSM readers...!! I hope all of you are doing great. It is a little daunting for me to write a guest post, that too a poem for MSM (who as you already know writes amazing verses and stories). But she has been really kind to appreciate it and ask me to put up my li'l poem here. Thank you sooooo much, girl for letting me scribble on your space :P  It is a great pleasure and honor to be a guest at one of my favourite blogs.
Image Source:  http://wallpaperswide.com/blue_butterflies-wallpapers.html 

THOU ART
You are the butterfly,
Fluttering, flawless, fragile.
You were the caterpillar,
Creepy, clumsy, crawling.
Now its time, your time,
To rise, leave the ground,
And take your flight.
Touch you may not the sky,
But fly you will, fly high.
You were you; you are you.
Metamorphosis thy name.

Blessed be lovelies (as MSM says it)!
Love

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Isn't it beautiful? :D :D I love simple written words, because anyone can write mast using big big words, it is  the job of conveying a message by using simple words which is the toughest! Do check out her blog - apart from stories/poems, she also is  writes about fashion. Versatile one she is! :D

Till the next time fellas, fly high, touch the sky, like the pretty butterfly! Blessed be! :)

9 Aug 2012

Identity

In the wildest place of all,
In the darkest moments that make you fall,
Let the twinkle of your eye,
Show you the way and take you high.

There are moments in your life, when you need to take a decision. No matter what the consequences are - you have to take that one step, for yourself. Yes, you can say it is selfish to think about what you want over the needs of the people who ensured your existence, sustenance and maintenance. But I say, sometimes, you need to think for yourself. What you desire. What you need. What will take you closer to the dream you want to bring to life.
Image Source: newthoughtgeneration.com
Before I came to Bangalore, life used to be very different. Overprotected, Easy, Comfortable and not Challenging at all. The biggest hurdle used to be the times when I had to face the people who controlled me, in school. And I used to think that was bad. People making fun of you - it is not easy to go on always with that sh*t around. Especially for someone like me, who was timid and fraidy cat, even at home. But we all learn. We are humans and we learn to pick ourselves from the dumps. You cannot mope forever that life has been so unfair to you, because you are being unfair to yourself, by not doing anything for yourself.  I can say this because I have been in such a place. Sometimes, I still find myself back down there - hapless, hopeless and helpless. But, somewhere I know, that this is no end. That I have had my own share of achievements, which the world might not care about, but I do. Imagine the first time, you successfully operated your phone, music gadget or even sent an email? Sounds silly now, doesn't it? Now that you are an expert. But at that moment, wasn't the feeling, thrilling?

You watch them take a bow,
People applauding in million rows,
And you dream a dream to show,
Someday, that is where you will go.

Image Source: www.shutterstock.com
Sometimes, you need to fall down to learn. I see kids, youngsters and even the ones who'd have to begin graduation, not being allowed to venture out of their houses, because their parents (And because they are parents) carry the burden of a million What if's? I've had a friend, who was mostly a loner and had an over protective, super strict father, who wouldn't let her make friends, lest they spoil her. Soon she began to cling to any source of tiny happiness she got. I was one of them. Her friend. But she was scared. So, her fears strained our relations. I was young and so was she. I remember talking to her after these years - she was doing well in life and she had fallen in love - for once she decided what she wanted and not what her father. And I am not saying, we should not listen to our parents - but she is happy now, chose the best from the rest. 

If you are not allowed to venture out, if you are shooed down, before you take a risk, if you are stopped at every step, so that you cannot make a mistake - believe me, it is time to stand up! For yourself, for your sake. I know, it would hurt the ones who love you - but someone told me once - In the rut of our life, we all forget we have a child within us. We shoo it down, we scold it, we ask it to behave perfectly when we know, nothing is perfect, unless flawed. We need to learn to make mistakes, to not beat ourselves up, no matter what people say. Cause they have chosen to wear such tinted glasses - you don't have to see the world through their eyes. I think I made a million mistakes while I was out there on my own - with people who would make you feel like a pest at the drop of the hat, who would laugh and mock you cause you don't act/think/behave like them. But it doesn't mean I didn't have people who loved me - I found them - midst the turbulence - there was a place, which was for me.

And the time is now and here,
You stand up and fate you steer.
Eyes watch you, and wait for blow,
But this is not your final show.
Fear not of the storm you see,
There is a place within, for you and me.

Image Source:  utopic-man.deviantart.com
I know this post doesn't make sense at all - but I just wanted to put a point across - that to find that place, which makes you what you are - you have to leave behind some people and things - which you may hold the closest to your heart. And when you look back at the decision you made, you would know how much you've grown. Let the child within you embrace the world with arms open wide.

Till the next time people - Leave out all the rest! Blessed be Everyone! 

31 Jul 2012

Of Rains, Friendships and Monsoons!

Wassup Everybody!

I tell you, these rains are getting a bit out of control. As much as I love monsoons, now they are restraining me in my own household. *And making me sound like a frog.* Ray knows it! :D

Nevermind my voice! So, we all know that Friendship day is on the 5th of August this year (I think Airtel is celebrating it on behalf of everybody). I actually don't care when it is, though when younger, in school, it mattered how many bands you sported, colored, handmade etc. *I don't know why but suddenly SRK from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is grinning before my eyes* But now what matters is, how do you stay true to the relation you've been blessed with.

I won't go philosophical and state the obvious that everyday with the best buds is like friendship day! But having fewer friends in real than a million on a social networking site, is way better. I have been in "groups" of friends but realized over time, that I am a person who likes to keep only few, very few people close. And I can count my friends on my fingers. I am absolutely proud of them and to be their trusted one. I've broken few relations and being thrown out in some, so I know how much it hurts when you have absolutely no one around you. When loneliness becomes your compulsive friend. I tell you, it's a bad place to be in. Loneliness is like wine, you savor it delicately - lightly...it entices you, pleases your senses. The moment you take an unintended gulp, it ruins the whole experience.

Ahem.

Oh, so that brings me to the point of this post. As I've mentioned earlier, I've a series of Guest Posts lined up from my lovely girlfriends, though I don't want to call them that. Friendly contributions sounds better and I am starting by posting the one I received day before from Ray. Okay, Ray is actually what I call her - she is Aditi Ray from the blog My World...My Space! I've spoken to her today and boy, she shares the name with my lovely lovely Meoww and sounds the same as well!!! Oh and she wanted to hear the frog. *Grins* Her writings are clear and simple, showing the clarity of her mind and thinking. Of what I've known of her, she is one mastikhor and loves to laugh. Knows her what's and why's well and loves to talk like me! Also, she is into Occult (reading about them) and Mysticism :D I am really really really glad to have her around. She is funny, adorable and someone, you would love to read! So presenting to you, her post!
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Forever Mine

Lying on the bed, she idly wondered, how many more days she would have to be here. She didn't like it here. She had never liked staying anywhere else but her home. But it was just a matter of a few days, she thought. The pain was growing, minute by minute. She hoped it all ended soon so she could return to her home. There were people back there waiting for her to return. She looked out of the window, it was getting dark, she must wake up from her slumber now, it was time for some action. She disliked her work, but then again, work was work. She had to do it to survive in her world...yes, her world, which was completely different from Other world. There was a time when she too had been a part of the people's world, the Other world. But now, she was a part of a completely different world, and she could not go back. The door was closed, the bridge was broken, she could not go back there. People would never accept her back. The only time when she came face to face with the Other world was at night, during her work, and even then her experiences always left her in a bitter-sweet mood every morning. She was dog-tired by ever morning. Every morning she had thoughts of leaving her work once and for all, but every night she gathered enough hatred and retaliation to go back to work. 


It was like a routine now. She thought about her son, she smiled. He was so innocent, far from all her troubles, he loved her and she loved him beyong imagination. He was the only good thing in her life. She longed to meet him, hold him in her arms, hug him, kiss him, cuddle him, just sit with him and talk.... but she couldn't do all this.... and suddenly she was filled with hatred! Hatred for him. Pure avenging hatred. She must go back to work. He was the reason why she was in this world today...away from her son, away from everything which was so dear to her. It was his fault. And he must pay for it. And pay dearly! An evil smile played on her lips, she could only laugh at the thought of what will happen to him finally. She would push him into the same hell where he pushed her, away from his dear ones, away from his world, away from the Other world, into her world! Now she let out a slow evil laughter. She could see her victory. It was just a night away. Tomorrow morning she will be freed. Free from the chain of retaliation. Free from the constant urge to avenge. She looked out of the window again, it was night. Just a few hours to midnight and then it was show-time. She waited. Impatiently patient. 

The clock struck 12. It was midnight. She got up from her bed, and went straight to him. He was lying in his bedroom. He was bed-fast. She smiled at his sight with love and hatred, all at once. She had once loved him so much, but now she hated him. She slowly walked upto him and sat beside him. She touched his fore-head. He opened his eyes. His face was pale and eyes blood-shot. He saw her and his face displayed fear, fear which made his face go white, mouth go dry. She was happy to see him like this. His current state provided her inner-self some solace. She felt better. She smiled at him and moved her finger on his cheeks seductively, just like she used to do it before. The effect made her happy and satisfied. His forehead dripped sweat, his lips quivering with fear, his eyes pleading mercy. And she smiled again, satisfied by the sight. She closed her eyes and thought about the happy days she spend with him, she almost had a change of heart. 


She felt pity on him and would have forgiven him, but just then the door opened and she walked in...her calm eyes went bloodshot again, burning with rage, fury, and hatred. He had cheated on her and married Suzan. When she refused to sign the divorce papers, he had hired goons to hit her by a car, so that she would be dead in an accident, for good. Her 7 year old son was sent to her sister's place, where, thankfully, he would be happy and loved and cared. But now again, when she had almost forgiven him, she had felt pity on him, the sight of that bitch erased all the traces of love, pity and forgiveness from her mind. Now her determination was steel-solid. She would get her revenge. She would make him suffer, just like he made her suffer. She gave herself an evil grin again, and went about with her work. Slowly and tardily she strangled him. He begged for mercy and pleaded for forgiveness, but the fury and agony in her eyes couldn't see any of it. Finally, when she let go, his eyes were fixed at her, still pleading for forgiveness, his body cold as stone, his breathing, ceased, forever! She closed her eyes, said a prayer, kissed his forehead and walked out of the house, holding his hand. Now, she had to show him his new world....her world.

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How do you like it people?! I loved the concept of vengeance as dead. I am into horror movies these days. Saw Insidious with bro yesterday. Creeped me out! But who doesn't love scares! :D :D 

So fellas, lemme know what you think! Till the next time, preserve the bonds you cherish and love the surprises as they come! BLESSED BE!!!