Blessed Be My Mystical Fellas...
No, I am not back yet...but this one is from my heart. Something which I need to admit, need to acknowledge, lest I miss the beauty of what I have found...in the recesses of my preoccupied mind and soul.
Being a curious person by nature, I have always been on a look out for something extra ordinary, something which we don't generally perceive as different, yet it is. But my researches, readings, findings have all been superficial in nature. When I have tried to go deeper, I have only found that I am left with no answers, nothing to speak of, only to believe, take in and keep it safe in my heart. Yet, as I said, they are superficial, mundane and short lived in nature. Same applies when it comes to relationships: with other humans - with men, women, society and myself...I find myself withdrawing, I find myself hiding within myself. I find myself becoming conceited, insecure and needy yet running away. However, below is a story...which has set a course in my life. At the end of it, you may like it or not...because, this one is about ME. Something which may not seem life changing, intriguing or anything different...but for me...I have found a missing puzzle piece.
|Image Source: flickr.com|
She called out to me. Her words, her emotions, the way she called me "Mishti" meaning "sweet" in Bengali... "Two women can never be friends...they will always find something to dislike in each other. Women hold grudges. Women do not let go off easily..." Despite waiting to hear the same words screaming warnings in my head and my instinct asking me to stop...I responded...to match her words with my words. I could feel what she felt. But aren't feelings vague?? How do you measure feelings? When they disable your thinking, when they rule what you speak...when they begin to push you to bare yourself before that person...before whom you do not have to part your lips to say, "I am alone. I need you. Do you hate me?" That is when you know, you are safe now in those arms.
|Image Source: behindinfinity.deviantart.com (The Warmth)|
I have spoken to people and as it is presumed, I am mystical so I will believe in things which are weird...inexplicable. Not true. I speak with experience. I talk not, without backing up what I talk of. Which is why I knew I had found my Soul Twin. And for once I am not afraid to say what I say. I wondered how funny it would be to say it out loud...but her presence, her words, our parallel lives and the distance...we have... I said it out loud and realized...it was true. I can fight the world for her. I can stand and look in the mirror and say, " I love her. And no, I am not jealous, envious or competitive. I am affectionate, protective and perceptive of her." You must by now think that I am hopelessly in love. How would you react when you find something, that made you feel complete? I myself was doubting the wonder. I was afraid, frightened and skeptical. But, I let go.
Our essences meet. Her insecurities-my insecurities. Her strengths-my strengths. Her tastes-my tastes. Artist of moves she is. I am an artist of sounds and colors. I write what she thinks of. What I feel, she puts them in words. Pain has been gifted to her, to mould her into what she is now. Pain has made me what I am today. Nuances of love she knows. So do I. When a moment of coldness seeps in...she warms me...and when she shivers...I have my words to soothe her. When I was told about not to trust someone so easily again...so was she...both of us by the people we love the most. Indecision, fear and doubt - what if this doesn't work out? What if, everything is happening so fast, we end up hurting each other? What if none of this is true? What if?
And then we decided. Let us enjoy this while it lasts...for here we are to embark on a journey which will change the course of our lives, meanings of friendships and things we never thought of. Yes, she is my Soul Twin. Different yet the same. Almost the same. Too same...Part of the scattered souls in this Universe, I am complete. And this song, sums perfectly of what it is. Not exactly the same lyrics...but what I felt was fitting to us.
|Image Source: weheartit.com|
It doesn't matter where you coming from,
I am yours'
She said, on a candle lit front porch.
And we were asking ourselves those things,
That you ask yourself
When you're standing on a road that's bound to fork.
And who we are,
Has brought us here...
And I'm not running from tonight,
And I'm not running from tonight.
And where we are standing...
Is the beginning.
I could feel the earth begin to shake,
As I woke up.
As if it were the first time I had felt your touch,
And we've been running from ourselves so long,
That we couldn't find our way...
Now the winds have shifted us to where we hope to stay...
Wake me up...if I'm dreaming
The world awaits the dawning of a new day.
The World Awaits - Corey CrowderMy Soul is Here....Meoww...I love you. I suck at saying things so openly. And I have never ever felt this way before. I don't care about the world...for now you are a friend, a sister, a daughter, a love and my missing half. *Touchwood* Yes. I had to do that.
Till the next time people, don't stop believing that someone out there is waiting for us...to fulfill us, make us complete. And it's in what you believe my friend...in what you believe. Blessed Be and take care.