16 Dec 2011

All I need...

Blessed Be Lovely People!

I leave today, for a journey, which may have a varied end. I am anxious and excited. And hence, for this next week, I give you all, the hope to survive and believe, that in the Darkest of times, we are given the ability to Shine through, fight through, sailing on the wave of Love. Never give up, on yourself, for Someone hasn't. Your soul hasn't. Your heart may be charred, but don't let your Spirit die. Be yourself. Embrace yourself. Let yourself free. Fly high, touch the Sky. Let the Magic touch your lives. Mystical Skeptical Me, Blesses you all....I wish that Light touches your life, Hope and Happiness covers you, Sadness, Remorse you never see, so I mote it be.
Image Source: pxleyes.com
The Post below is a short journey covered in a life, that seems short, but really isn't. Hope rings true in the end, to show you, Miracles do happen. 


"Are you really sure...that you believe me?
When others say I lie...
I wonder if you could...ever despise me,
when you know I really tried...
To be a better one to satisfy you, 
For you're everything to me.
And I'll do what you ask me,
If you let me be free..."
Image Source: flickr.com
Life Part 1: Was everything always so nice and glittery??? She had just been proposed to by this dark, handsome guy from her class. She had said no, but had basked in the after glow. Is this how love feels? Nah, wasn't love like they used to show in the movies? She will tell her best friend about it! Yep. That would be nice! Oh, yes! This definitely was love. Later she would know, how juvenile she was. How childish her fantasies used to be...Life was much simpler before, when nothing from a man meant nothing...
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Life Part 2: He died. The friend who was her partner in crime. He died. And then she knew, the raw agonizing pain that she felt, stemmed from love. Not the superficial types or proposals or short-lived crushes. In that moment, she had loved him...and he died. Would she recover? What was love? Her father didn't love her. Why would he then treat her like a pest? But may be, he loved her so much that he had forgotten that love could kill too...love could suffocate and push to the extremes too...may be this was love. Pain. Love. Same Difference.

Ah! Bullshit. How easy it is to rely on Statistics for Answers?
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Life Part 3: Anger. Darkness. Loneliness. Cold. He was all of this. And she fell in love with him. For real. It made her go weak kneed, dizzy and her heart would leap at his sight. The adrenaline rush, the huge urge to protect him, show him the light...yes. Suffering was love too. Yes, for those who knew, it was. She was growing, changing, hurting and learning. Not all you want is yours'. Not whom you love can be yours' always...The loved buried deep in her heart fizzled and died after 4 years...Friends now, they were mere friends. But wasn't friendship love too? Love is Friendship. Then may be, they weren't friends either...
Image Source: weheartit.com
Life Part 4: Broken. Yes. Battered was the word she liked to associate herself with. But, self pity is the worst form of self degradation. Love yourself and you will be loved. Her Counselor told her. But how, her past was catching up with her...haunting her, twisting the concept of love for her. The Bloodied childhood memories, the unrequited love and the never ending cycle of Broken Hearts and Broken Promises. Stronger, she was becoming a woman of steel, who seem to know a lot about herself...yes, she was Dark, Loved not Cherished, Held but not Appreciated...Oh, the Monstrous Insecurities. Desires laced Love now. Primal Emotions. Merciless Tramping of Innocent hearts. She was Herself now. She Loved her. 
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Life Part 5: Soul Mate. Oh what a stupid term. Where had she heard it anyway? You are my Soul Mate. Her heart spoke to him. She warned him, of her Darkness. Of her Trust Issues, Insecurities and the Pain. He brushed them away. He was confident. She was a vixen though. She lured him in and pushed him away...far far away....so far, there was no point of return. No Guilt could reverse what had been set in motion. Hatred. Hatred was a form of love too. She Hated Him, did she ever Love him?
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Life Part 6: Bottomless Pit. She lay there. Basest of Human Emotions, Passion, Desire and Calls of Primal Need was what she lived for now. Love was Physical. Love was not Spiritual. Or may be, Physical Love made way for the Spiritual Love. Bullshit. No divine Love could satiate her as the red hot fire could. Yes. Touch was Love. Fire was Love. No emotions. No attachments. Love? Nothing of the sort existed ever. She could love never. The proximity scared her, of feelings, of kind words, of emotions that connected people, were her nemesis. Love was a deadly Enemy.
Image Source: flickriver.com
Life Part 7: Fate has now set things in motion. She has found closure. A Ghost from the Past still hovers, but she is shining. Healed. Rejoiced. Renewed and Haunted no more, she awaits for herself. A chance. Second Chance. To begin from the Beginning. To move with the faith she now has. She will find love. Yes. For there's enough for everyone. No one can be left Loveless. She will ensure that. Love is Hope. Love is New. Love is Being yourself. Love is Loving Who You Are... 
Image Source: sun-nation.org
She looked at the Man who stood at her doorstep. Lost in the world, that watches only the exterior, she saw his other side. The fractured spirit, the flame in his eyes and the mind which spun a million thoughts...She admitted him, into her life. For now, she was the Healer, the Protector, the Friend and the Lover... He was now in her Light, where Darkness seeped and disappeared into...She had found her Nirvana. 


PS: Ultra Philosophical Post. I wish I could make it simpler, but the beauty what I felt while I wrote this, couldn't be compromised. Thank you for Bearing with me. I have NO IDEA what made me write this. Absolutely no idea. Oh, and the lines are from the movie "Once" and the song is "If you want me"
PPS: After 8 years, going back to the place, where modernity hasn't placed itself yet, I am afraid. I hope I love it.
PPPS: I will miss you all and I promise to get some stories for you all. Mystical and Skeptical, both. Also, Anuranjani, the effervescent girl who wrote at "To Hell With A Name" has completed her time on Earth...I hope she is at peace in the Other Plane where relations and promises made to her are not broken. R.I.P. Anu...you were right, names don't matter...people do. My tears, heart and wishes are with you. You will be Missed. Blessed Be!

13 comments:

meoww said...

sighhhhh..mishti..
i will never be able to figure out how can you write something so profound with so much ease and yet make it sound so mysteriously beautiful..

i guessi can relate to your words very well..
and i know what you talking about..

just have faith..
and lil angel will always be your guardian angel..

we go through certain phases in our life..which kind of shake and shatter our beliefs in the power of LOVE..
i know it gives so much pain..
but at the same time..its the best healer of all wounds..

we just need to have that unbreakable belief in ourselves..
and you know sweetheart..there is no harm at all in loving ourselves..
we should do that you know..
love the SELF the most..only then can we bestow our love on anyone else..

ohhh....gyaan kuch zyada hogya :P

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mishtiii...m gonna missss uuuuuuu :( :( :(
but its ok..m only glad you will get the much needed change there..:)
beautiful place it is..
happy journey mishti..

may the glow of the moon and the gleam of the stars guide you..
may the flow of the wind and the stream of the rivers bide by you..

lots of love to you..
god bless..tc..
hope to see you soon

cheers !!

Cяystal said...

I have nothing to say, except give you a tight, crazy, insanely rib-cracking hug.

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Meoww: You know how I do it.... :) :D And this one toh you know, the inspiration ;) :* LiL Angel....I love her....I know she is there.... About Love, you are right meoww...and may be this time, I will find a way...maybe I am not lost so much.... Hehe, loving ourselves, "Main toh apni Favorite hoon" ;) :D Yes....my capacity to love is immense, I know....but myself...I am learning to do that.... Nah, yeh Gyaan achcha thha :D I will MISS you toooooooooo :'( :'( I hope so....I really hope so... Thanks Meoww!! And that verse, you know I am going to read it again and again....Lots and Lots of Love to youuuuu..... Blessed Be!!! <3

@Crystal: You know, I love you :') *Super Tight Hug* I will miss you. I know, we don't know each other much...but you are very close to my heart... :* :*

DawnZhang said...

Ahh, wonderful. Its beautiful and mesmerizing. Keep writing! :)

R.I.P to the woman who passed away.

Blessed be! :)

PeeVee™ said...

Love is painful, the sooner we realize, it the better. But each kind of love that we ever feel makes us so much more stronger in ways that we can't even explain.

That's all I'll say here.
Come back soon and be safe, Laddu:)
Mwah..

Suruchi said...

love yourself to be loved...touch is love, fire is love...such beautiful lines and thoughts..i am taking them with me Pree:-)

and i also remember a status here updated by you-love is beautiful...don't let the suffering part of it befool you-something to that effect!

may you find peace wherever you are going and such depth of thoughts always rest in your contended mind:-)
take care and return soon!

A Lot Like Fashion said...

I have so much to ask you..All I hope is that you're happy when you wrote this post and happy at home! :) Please take care! Your words still give me goose flesh!
XX

kalpak n. said...

praddu, u truly have an ability to take ur reader somewhere else with ur words, an ability i crave to possess. I dont think u realize jus how good u are.
This was just wow.
Missin u buddy. Come back soon.

Keirthana said...

All along when I read your post, I was in some world, where only words and feelings existed but still I was perfectly alright.. You have an awesome ability or rather I should say you are gifted :) Take care on your trip and don't worry. Mother nature will embrace you at your native and you will back with awesome stories, won't ya? :)

And I do not know Anuranjani, but sure I pray for her soul to rest in peace.

Viya said...

OMG!!!.. i'm literally speechless Pradeeta!...
This post literally mesmerized me!! :)
Have a great time out there!! :D :D

and omg!
Seriously?! when?? :| RIP anu... :|

Soumya said...

I seem to have been toggling between part 6 and 7 of life perpetually. Love is funny and scary. Suffering too is a form of love I agree, but it has to end someday and soon.

Miss you, come back soon. *Hugs*

What happened to Anu? I recently started following her blog? Oh God, this is bad. Really bad. At times it feels like there is no God.

RIP Anu. *Peace be*

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Dawn: :D I am happy you liked it! :) Really!
Yeah. RIP to Anu. May she find the Heavenly Peace. And Blessed Be, you my Lady! :)

@PeeVee: Yes. Each kind of love makes us grow in to greater person. A better person. We fall but we find the strength to stand again. :) :) Me back...safe and in one piece, for you! :D :D :* Mwaaah Mwaah!

@Suruchi: :D :D *Blush* Please Please take them. I will be honored. Yes Yes...Paulo Coelho said that "Love is joy. Don't convince yourself that suffering is part of it." :D And Pree! :D That sounds so nice... :D :D :D And the fact that you remember the status has made me grin like I never knew how to smile. Thank you Thank you for your beautiful words! :D *Hugs*

@A Lot Like Fashion: I am all yours when we meet in Jan. :) Though these are just fragments of a past begone. :D I was in other world when I wrote this...I was leaving that Darkness behind. :D

@Kalpak: You also know that you can create magic when you write poems. Oh. :D :D Thanks. I don't want to realize how good I am. That will stop me from learning more. I will though keep the compliments in mind. :D :D

@Keirthana: Oh. Thank you So much. This means a lot. I would go with ability. :D Yes. Me back with some awesome stories! :D :D

Anu shall take your prayer...I am sure. :) :)

@Viya: *Tight Tight Hug* :D :D Eeeeee....I have no words. Your reaction stunned me in a very good way. <3
In December sometime. I don't know how... :(

@Soumya: Oh Believe me....me too...and never cherished one. Never could call any of this Mine. Truly Mine. Love is Scary, Yet so Beautiful. I have Missed you tooo!!!

*Tight Hug* Sweetheart...she is with him. God. Or A Divine Power that has ended her pain...and I hope she is loved there....more than ever. RIP.

The Solitary Writer said...

realized today that i have missed a lot here :)