26 Nov 2011

Breathing Space

Blessed Be My Mystical Fellas!

My exams are right around the corner and it's high time that I leave this beautiful world of writing for sometime. I will continue my posts on Tarot when I return because currently my mind set is mostly that of reading, reading and more reading...and reading Statutes (Yawn!) totally conflict with what I want to read. ;) I may or may not have access to the internet in the coming month, depending on the plans that I might have...but if I do, it would be much better for my writing...haven't been on a break for a while now. And I need some mental peace to continue.
Yeah, it screams *I am Interesting, pick me up!*
Image Source: learningpool.com
I have noticed that I have become restless and find myself unable to concentrate on any thing I read - be it on witches or warehouses, fire or food...nothing is working. So *deep breath*... I am taking a break. Not for long - may be from tomorrow till...well, let's see. ;) :D Ah! The Determination I exude! *tch tch* Oh and before I leave, here's a figment of my imagination...for you, to ponder over...tell me, what you feel ~ 

You know I watch you, feel you touch me,
Touch me with your cold fingers as I remain silent.
Shush, my heart, for you may die someday,
Without knowing this mysterious lover…
You hover around the edges, into my mind,
Within the infinite darkness, you light a fire.
I sing a haunting melody and my fingers play a magical tune,
The stars shine upon me and fall into my eyes,
I watch my hands move to hold you…
Image Source: vi.sualize.us
Hold you, embrace you and take you within,
I see you…I see you raise and lift beyond the soft embrace,
My eyes move up with you as you leave my world,
Tonight, you know I watch you, watch you touch me…
As you disappear like my breath stranded…into the night,
Were you there, touching me with your cold fingers?
Into the darkness tonight, I lay silent…
For I know you watch me watch you,
Take me with you.

Sometimes, we fall in love with things and people we cannot see, cannot feel...yet, the connection, the presence is so potent...you know them like the air you breathe...Till the next time I see you Blessed People, remember, distances do not part the hearts, it's the thought my friends...it's the thought.

21 Nov 2011

The Journey Of a Fool

(Part 1: First Five Cards)

Blessed Be My Mystical Fellas,

*Disclaimer: Very Very Long Post. Read only if you are able to keep up with the interest. And I believe you  would...for Curiosity is what moves us all :) :)*

I was not writing this post, for I was afraid I might not do justice to this ancient divination tool of Tarot. And I am bad at talking randomly, I do not want to spoil this one. Before I tell you the Story of Tarot, let me tell you a few things which made me pick this one up for further studying. I heard somewhere that each card of the Tarot tells a story. And every Reader may have his own interpretation. It's all based on See, Feel and Tell. But that does not mean, everyone can do it. Anything needs practice and without basic knowledge, if you venture into something, results can lead to disaster, disappointment and disbelief. I realized this in the very beginning, when I used to admire a particular Reader. She had warned clearly, accept only that what your heart feels is true. So, If I flip this card for you....Card No. XIII that is the Death Card, most of you will immediately freak out! Yes? Yes. Human nature. We jump to conclusions before we think. :)
Image Source: www.tarot.com
However, if you take a deep breath and look at this Card - it means the end of old things, shedding of certain decaying inhibitions and death of rusted, old and stagnant things in your life. It is in the perspective. A Tarot is always read in combination for a reason, to give a composite meaning to a situation. And in the subsequent posts I will tell you what each card means and represents, so that we all know...that what you see may have more to it. So that what you see may not necessarily be what you see... To explore, to learn and to imbibe...is the journey of life. 
Image Source: www.weheartit.com
Few facts about Tarot ~
Tarot (Trionfi, Tarocchi, Tarock ) Cards are usually a deck of 78 cards, were used for the purpose of playing card games, in Europe during the mid -15th Century and are said to have originated from Italian and French Culture.Tarau was the French name of the card game played, given by Francois Rebelais. It was only after 18th Century that the Tarot was used for Divination purposes by the Occultists but there is no evidence of its use like that before. Tarot was not widely adopted by mystics, occultists and secret societies until the 18th and 19th Centuries. The tradition began in 1781, when Antoine Court de Gébelin, a Swiss clergyman, published Le Monde Primitif, a speculative study which included religious symbolism and its survival in the modern world. Gébelin claimed that the name "tarot" came from the Egyptian words tar, meaning "royal", and ro, meaning "road", and that the Tarot therefore represented a "royal road" to wisdom.  Egyptologists found nothing in the Egyptian language to support de Gébelin's fanciful etymologies. Despite this, the identification of the tarot cards was already firmly established in occult practice and continues in modern urban legend to the present day.
Image Source: psychic-tarotreader.com
(Information is taken from Wikipedia primarily as I could not find a well documented version for Origin of Tarot. For the info on Cards, I have used other sites).

The Sites which I have referred to are: Aeclectic Tarot and Paranormality

As I mentioned earlier...there are 78 cards in a normal Tarot deck. The Deck is divided into two sets: One set has 22 Trump cards or cards without suits is called Major Arcana (Greater Secrets) and the rest left, 56 Suit cards is called Minor Arcana (Lesser Secrets).

Let's begin with the beginning. The first 7 cards of the Major Arcana are:
The first card of the deck is:
The Fool Card: It depicts a journey, whether mental, physical or spiritual, and the Fool has ventured out for it, with all his worldly possessions in a small pack. He does not know where he is going, so filled with visions, questions, wonder and excitement he is, that he doesn't see the cliff he is likely to fall over.
At his heel, a small dog follows him (or tries to warn him of a possible misstep). Will the Fool learn to pay attention to where he's going before its too late? The bag on the staff/wand indicates that he has all he needs to do or be anything he wants, he only has to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the Card carries a little warning as well. While it's wonderful to be enthralled with all around you, excited by all life has to offer, you still need to watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking like a Fool. For the Fool, the most important thing is to just go out and enjoy the world. To see what there is to see and delight in all of it. Unfortunately, this childlike state can make one overly optimistic or naive. For instance: that business opportunity might not be so surefire or amazing as it seems, and that new lover might not be so flawless. Like the Fool, you might be so busy sightseeing and imagining the possibilities that you completely miss the fact that you're about to go right off a cliff! The Card advises that one listen to that watchful little dog, which might be a concerned friend, a wise tarot reader, someone harassing you from the sidelines, or just your instincts. However exciting new beginnings may be, you still have to watch your step. The Fool Card means, if in Upright position, that there are new avenues opening, the beginning of a new life-cycle. The happiness of Fool indicates Energy, force, happiness, optimism and the overturning of the status quo or existing states by unexpected happenings. This Card represents Innocence, naivety, and spontaneity and also indicates that important decisions are to be made. If it's Inverted it indicates ill advised risks, impulsive action, choices and rash decisions, foolishness, gambling, instability and the wasting of creative energy. Consequently, it is considered then, a bad time for commitments and can be an indication of someone who starts many new things but never finishes them.

The Magician: As the  Fool listens to the warning and moves ahead, he comes across an Interesting looking Man. Skillful, self-confident, a powerful magus with the Infinite as a halo floating above his head, the Magician mesmerizes the Fool. When asked, the Fool gives over his bundled pack and stick to the Magician. Raising his wand to Heaven, pointing his finger to Earth, the Magician calls on all powers. Magically, the cloth of the pack unfolds upon the table, revealing its contents. It is as if the Magician has created the future with a word. All the possibilities are laid out, all the directions the Fool can take: The cool, airy Sword of intellect and communication, the fiery Wand of passions and ambition, the overflowing Chalice of love and emotions, the solid Pentacle of work, possessions and body. But here's the question, did the Magician create the tools, or were they already in the pack? Only the Magician knows.
The Magician is the male power of Creation by Willpower and Desire. The Infinity Symbol (Lemniscate) over his head indicates the Energy of Thought. Thus, he draws divine power from the Heavens into his white wand, molds it with the energy of thought, and manifests it on Earth (his finger pointing to the ground). This is that most ancient magic to make real whatever he imagines in his head merely by saying it aloud. ("And God said 'Let there be Light!' and there was Light"). The Magician is often represented by Mercury. Mercury is the planet and God of smooth talkers and salesmen, also anyone who is clever with the sleight of hand (Mercury *was* the god of thieves!) and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil. If any card in the Tarot is The Tarot, it is the Magician. He's one of the most recognizable cards, always a favorite. He's also the only card in the Major Arcana that refers to the Minors with the "trumps" displayed upon his table. One way to look at them is as ideas that the Magician is offering you. Thus, the card is about getting an idea and finding a way to verbalize it. The Magician can indicate a time when one is eloquent and charismatic, clever, witty, inventive and persuasive. The Magician Card stands for the "reveal" - as in a magic trick. For Instance: The handkerchief is draped over an empty box, the Magician waves his wand, *Presto!* - now there is a dove in the box. The Magician card does the same and reveals not birds or rabbits but NEW ideas. When the Magician Card appears, you will realize or know, that there could be a NEW idea you never thought of before and it is now revealed to you. The Magician Card, if in Upright position indicates Mastery of the material world, creative action, self-discipline and a willingness to take risks. It also shows an ability to recognize one's own potential, the power to initiate, communication and wit. If it's Inverted, it shows Confusion, hesitation, inability to make decisive choices. It also shows inability to properly utilise time or talents, lack of inspiration or energy, giving up easily, poor self image, poor co-ordination and learning difficulties, sometimes.

The High Priestess: Continuing his journey, the Fool comes upon a Beautiful and Mysterious veiled lady enthroned between Two Pillars and Illuminated by the Moon and holds ancient scroll in her arms She is the opposite of the Magician: Quiet where he was Loquacious, Still where he was in Motion, Sitting while he Stood, Shrouded in the Night where he was out in the Sunlight.

Sensing that she is a great seer, the Fool lays out his Sword, Chalice, Wand and Pentacle before her. "The Magician showed me these, but now I'm in a quandary(Dilemma). There are so many things I could do with them. I cannot decide."

The High Priestess does not speak. She hands him a pair of ancient scrolls. The Fool seats himself at her feet, putting his decision-making on hold and reads by the light of her crescent moon. The words come to him then, within: "What do your instincts tell you?" Thanking the High Priestess, he heads off. But as he leaves he hears that inner voice, rising like the waters which spring and flow from beneath her throne: "We'll meet again...when you're ready to travel the most secret path of all." This Card shows the way that you must look within.Once you have an idea, you also have decisions to make. The High Priestess holds scrolls of Arcane information in her arms. In addition, the Moon crown on her head as well as the Crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see about a job possibility, an investment, love, career, family, etc. But you need some alone time, some quiet time to meditate and reflect. This is what the card is all about. The Two pillars represent Two choices. The High Priestess is not about making a decision as much as it is about keeping you decision making on a hold, while you take time to listen to your inner voice. She wants you to Gain knowledge before you act: instinctual knowledge, supernatural knowledge, secret knowledge, self-knowledge. The High Priestess is seen as a perpetual maiden, the eternal virgin of an Athena, Diana or Vesta. Some also view her as a woman who might be pregnant. In such instances, the High Priestess is NOT viewed as an emblem of fertility, a "mother," but rather as a still, quiet incubator where the "idea" (child) can remain stable and protected. The High Priestess not only offers illumination, revealing secret paths and hidden dangers, but also a still, quiet place between the pillars of dark and light, where one can pause, see, feel and reflect on what one really wants to do with an idea. If the High Priestess Card is in Upright, it shows Intuition, Wisdom and Secret knowledge and the feminine side of the male personality (intuitiveness, protectiveness etc.). It also directs that something remains yet to be revealed, but patience should be maintained. The Card also means Duality and mystery.  It expects the seeker to look for Hidden Influences which affect both home and work and intuitive insight which suggest new solutions and the influence of women. If Reversed - Lack of personal harmony and problems resulting from a lack of foresight, suppression of the feminine or intuitive side of the personality, relying on Face value and surface knowledge, Repression and ignorance of True facts and Feelings.  In women, an inability to come to terms with other women or themselves, is showed. Also, this Card warns that Things and circumstances are not what they seem.

The Empress:  Encouraged by the High Priestess, the Fool strides forward, impatient to make his future a full-grown reality. This is when he comes upon the Empress. Her hair is as gold as wheat, she wears a crown of stars, and a white gown dotted with pomegranates. She rests back on her throne surrounded by an abundance of Grains and a Lush Garden. It is possible that she is pregnant.

Kneeling, the Fool relates to her his story. The Empress then miles a motherly smile and gently gives him this advice: "Like newly planted grain or a newborn babe, a new life, a new relationship, a new creation is fragile. It requires patience and nurturing. It needs love and attention. Only this will bring it to fruition". While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea time and space to decide on a form, the Empress is either the womb or nursery where it grows till it reaches a certain level of maturity. This is why the Empress' symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things and gardens, as wells as sex and love. Venus is the Goddess of artists, and helps them painstakingly develop their pieces from clay to statue, from first brushstroke to masterpiece. The Empress can also be about the not so nice aspects of a mom. She can smother, not know when to let go, be possessive and jealous of those who would take away her "baby." It is important to realize that plants can die from over-watering as easily as they can from neglect. Like any good mother or good gardener, One must have patience and the ability to adjust and improvise as their "baby" (idea, venture) sprouts and grows. If the Card is Upright, it shows promotion of well-being and security, creativeness in financial affairs, love and parenthood, maternal care, domestic stability, abundance and material wealth. It also depicts fertility, security, achievement of goals and growth. And depending on the surrounding cards, it may represent sometimes, marriage and pregnancy. If the Card is Inverted/Reversed it reflects possible domestic problems, financial difficulties, lack of affection and achievement, creative blocks and possible problems with a relationship, infertility, sterility or promiscuity and/or unwanted pregnancy.

The Emperor: The Fool has now reached a stage where he must find a way to manage whatever he has discovered. How to do this? He approaches a Great Emperor seated on a stone throne. The Fool is amazed by the way the Emperor is instantly, eagerly obeyed in every particular, at how well his Empire is run and organized. Respectfully, he asks the Emperor how he manages to do all of this. And the Emperor answers: "Strong will and a solid foundation of laws and order. It's all very well," he explains to the Fool, "to be imaginative, creative, instinctual, patient; but to control one must be alert, brave and aggressive.

The Emperor, as Aries, the Ram, naturally follows the Empress. He is Mars (the planet that rules Aries) to her Venus, her Lover and Compliment, Father to her Mother, Civilization to her Nature, Imposed Order to her Artful Creativity. He is the "All Father" giving his children the structure they need in their lives to help them become responsible adults. Aries is also, however, the first sign of the Zodiac, metaphorically the "infant." Like an infant The Emperor is filled with Enthusiasm, Energy and Aggression. He is Direct, Guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a Tyrant: Impatient, Demanding and Controlling. In the worst of circumstances, the Emperor is a despot, imposing his will capriciously on his subjects. In the best of circumstances, he signifies an intelligent, enthusiastic leader that everyone wants to follow, the great monarch of an orderly, lawful, thriving Empire.
The Emperor card is the "Who's the boss?" card. It is an important question. The Card means being in control over your environment, your body, your temper, your instincts, your love life. This card gives the permission to be aggressive, brave, bold and in command. The Emperor can also be a warning to think about whether one's Empire has become an unwelcome chore. If it has, are you now a bad leader, demanding, unreasonable, unhappy? It might be time to abdicate the throne. If, however, what you have been building has merely gotten to a point where it's outgrown the nursery, then the advice is to switch from loving mother to structured, organized father i.e. to set down laws, discipline and rules and to plan out the future and lead the way. Upright - Competitiveness, forcefulness in development and execution. Authority, structure, governmental and corporate identities. Worldly power, self control gained through experience. Ability to shoulder responsibility. Also points at powerful individuals, who share your ambition and you can work together with the possibility of long term achievement. If Reversed - Loss or dislike of authority, corporate governmental or parental.  Immaturity and indecision, weakness, manipulative friends or colleagues.

PS: I am sorry for the length of the post. I hope you all find it as intriguing as I did. :) :) Oh, and no, I cannot read Tarot. This is just a background so that when next time, you come across some Reader, you would know what's up for you all, people! :D
PPS: Next up are the rest of the Cards of Major Arcana. I hope you all stick till the end! I believe in you! :) :) Till the next time people, remember that knowing something which people think weird, is not a sin...when you learn you also acquire the strength to take a path less traveled. And that is what makes us different, makes us unique. Lots of love and Blessed Be!

16 Nov 2011

The Magic

Blessed Be Lovely Fellas!

I am overwhelmed by the response you all have given on my last post...it was just a "Thank you" but you all made me smile, grin, laugh and feel like I am on top of the world! You all deserved every bit of it and you needn't say thank you for that. But, I am not complaining. I love it! :D :D Muchas Gracias to you all, Senors and Senoritas!
Starry Kiss for you all! :*
So, my next post is on Tarot Cards. It is taking me time to finish the research and shorten the details...but believe me, it is magical. It takes me to a different world. It's mostly going to take two parts because there are 22 Cards in Major Arcana and other smaller denomination cards in Minor Arcana.

Besides all of that, the point of this post is, how we miss the Magic all around us. Last night, it was one such realization. You know that Winters are round the corner and Nights are becoming a little bit colder...both of which I love. Winters and Night. I was writing down my thoughts in my diary when my eyes went to the Half risen moon. I sit before a window with my laptop and beyond the window, there is a balcony and you can see miles ahead. I stay near highway, so the houses are there, but far away. So, yes, Half Risen Moon. It's waning now, since Full moon was a couple of days back. And believe me, my heart stopped. The Moon was yellow orange-ish...still rising and there were stars! I mean, it's a surprise to see stars these days, when our skies have turned brown and orange due to pollution. 
Image Source: commons.wikimedia.org (I so wish I had a camera. This pic doesn't do justice to what I saw...)
Now, we really don't care about what time the Moon raises or how much time it takes to wane and all that (except for may be our mothers, who would need to know when in Purnima or Amavasya). I had started to keep a track, but then I forgot and got too busy (That is the excuse I give even for things I love). So, the Stars...I recognized Orion...and few common ones like Dipper but then it was too cold...and late in the night. I couldn't stand there. I stared at the moon for 10 whole minutes...when I decided I will write something. For we all should take time out, at least ten minutes to appreciate these finer things Nature bestows upon us.When I tell my roomies about how beautiful the moon looks, usually, they smirk 'cause, apparently it's funny that I become dreamy when I stare at the moon. May be it is, may be it is not. Magic is visible only to those who seek it without any inhibitions.

In Bangalore, weather is always good, so I go to the terrace at night and stay there for 2 hours at  a stretch. It's so easing, that I miss it here, in Bhopal. Tonight, I might though, watch the moon again. But it will rise late today. I think it's two hours later than it was yesterday. I am not sure. But, if you have reached till here...anyway, bearing my ramblings, you might as well read this tiny poem which I wrote for the Night... :D :D

The Night covers the forbidden secrets...
Of Desires and Dangers,
I am the storm, the harbinger...
Of the Bold and the Beautiful, 
The One so Invincible.
I wait for the Lady of the Night,
the One I worship, the One who guides Me,
To the path where You and I meet,
And the Moon shines down upon us, 
As I touch your face, the Stars pour down...
Tonight, I see, the magic all around,
When I hold you in my arms...
Clouds embrace us as I watch you, 
Our love has casted its charm ...
Into the Night, we move...
For you, my Love, I break the barriers and dive,
Into the Darkest Crevices...
Your hand in mine, our magic then flourishes....

Image Source: Google images
Yeah, House of Night inspired me ;) :D Till the next time my Lovely Lovely People, watch with your inner eye and you shall see, the magic that beats within you!

13 Nov 2011

And I found Peace in You

Blessed be My Wonderful Mystical Fellas!

I have been watching Bloggers being thanked and given awards and I realized, I have never appreciated the Stars I have picked through this year...it never occurred to me, honestly. When I started writing, it was to document the things I had read and I knew no one would judge me here for what I read...be it Voodoo or Vampires, Witches or Wolves, Superstition or Satan, Tarot or Tales, Love or Lust, Moon or Madness.

I could take out my fears, emotions, insecurities and thoughts here, without inhibitions. Writing made the flow of my thoughts much much smoother. I was afraid before, yes, as one of my cherished Stars told me...afraid to be in the bad books of everyone, submissive and apprehensive.
But, I love it here, everyone is sensible and mature. And yes, the comments are so encouraging, true and honest. And that means so much to me, so much. I learn something new every day. And Yes, being Mystical was never so beautiful for me. I am reading newer things, eager to share it with everyone. But this post would be empty without mentioning the Blogs I follow and the Brilliant people who pen them down! So, here's a list, not in order... of these Magical Souls who Dare to Believe.

Maithili: Your One Such Story became my everyday story. I never knew two people could be so similar, yet so different. Your name pleased me and then as we got to know each other...it was like we spoke each other's minds. If I say anything more, the essence of Silence will be lost. You know what you mean to me. For stories spun with precision, balanced on the edge of reality and fiction, One such Story is a place to be. I chose the Green for you, as you remind me of Earth and Nature - Grounded and nurturing. Blessed Be!

Red HandedI was caught in the color red@ Red Handed. I loved the way you write. Brutally honest, sensible tongue and an eye for extraordinary in the ordinary, you prove it right, that making someone laugh, even if you are blue, makes you a person of steel integrity. Your belief in yourself, shows. For whacked out truths and hilarious but apt observations, you have to be Red Handed. I am, are you? I chose flame Orange for you as you remind me of Fire - Luminous, Warm, Cheerful and Fiercely Loyal. Blessed Be!

PeeVee™:  Call it Love or Obsession for finer things in life, I stumbled upon the Confessions of the Chocolate Obsessed. With tastes as varied as true shades of chocolate, you showed me that sweet you may be, you have lived a life with experiences very real. Like Dark chocolate, you balance, the bitterness with silken sweetness that leaves me coming back for more. To view a passion that goes beyond words, you have to believe in Confessions of the Chocolate Obsessed. I chose wood Brown for you as it reminds me of Wood - Stable, Close to nature, Solid and Confirming yet open to Flexibility. (And yes, Chocolate Of course :D) 

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue: How to live life beautifully yet simply was shown to me by TheGirlAtFirstAvenue. You need not burn a hole in your pretty pocket to look lovely. And yes, intelligence, practicality and sensibility is what you show, Chandana. Your written word makes me laugh, think and realize a lot of things I wouldn't say. You don't have to go to New York to visit her. She is right here and you miss out on lovely stuff if you don't visit her. I chose Fuchsia Pink for you, as it reminds be of Fuchsia flowers - Unique, Bright yet Subdued, Silent yet Beautiful.

Abhilasha: Even when life throws torrents of cold, freezing rains on you and makes you sodden to the core, never stop believing and expressing what you feel, is what my Abhilasha is. I have known you recently but it's like I have known you always. Your bright soul shines through, even if hope doesn't come through. I learn to live life, from you, as it is. To see posts that make you smile with the sheer innocence and love, even when you have bawled your eyes out, you have to check Meoww (How could I miss your love for Cats? :) ) I chose Aqua Blue because you remind me of the sea, lovely to look at, lovely to feel....but hides all the turbulence within, to save others from it. 

Mirage: To say little but to drench the world with a million emotions, is what I learn when I look at the Mirage. Sometimes less words are laden with emotions which have the highest, strongest impact. I learnt how to avoid superfluous words and hollowness in what you say...from you Vinati, I learnt Patience and finding Beauty in the simplest pleasures of life.  Cute, funny and innocently realistic, is what you are looking for, then you will not be beguiled by the Mirage. I chose Golden for you as you remind me of  wheat fields that glow in the sun - Fulfilling, Light and Bright like Sun, like the twinkle you see in someone's eyes when they have found a way out.

Abysmally Mine/A Lot of Pages (and Three Others): Learning never ceases as I came across A Lot of Pages where I saw a man cut and shine like diamond - million skills. I learnt to keep reading, keep learning, keep moving, from you FL. You write, you can cook (A skill definitely drool worthy :P), you write poems in forms, I never knew existed. You are an artist. If you want to get back to your roots, you cannot miss any of the things this guy writes. I chose Cobalt Blue for you as you remind me of Richness a mind can hold, Intense, Soothing and Deep like the mineral found in the Earth.

A Peek Into My Life: And I thought it was tough to write simply yet in an impacting  manner. I learnt to live life from you, everyday Viya. To know what you have to do...little little things that matter and to love what you have, I just take A Peek Into My Life.  Cherishing small things in life, pretty, colorful and musical...take a tour in her world. I chose  Rose Pink for you as you remind be of the satin petals of Rose knit together in an indecipherable knot - spreading fragrance and beauty in the world, with imagination and thought.

My Tumbling Thoughts to The World: A woman is not just a woman, she is multifaceted, luminous  and Goddess. And the proud feeling of being a woman is instilled into me by the lady who writes My Tumbling Thoughts to the World. I learnt to be fearless, passionate and proud about myself from you, Suruchi. You cannot miss this woman, who is a dynamite of beauty, intelligence and Catty humor. I chose the color Red (My personal Favorite) because you remind me of Passion, Desire to Glow, Honest, Fiery and True.

Noises of My Empty Vessel: They say empty mind is a Devil's playhouse, Ah! What lies! When I heard  the Noises of my Empty VesselI realized that the space in the emptiness holds a profound silence, that no one can unearth. You add humor to your serious thoughts so that people can laugh, people can take life not too seriously. You have a side, the sincere one, the thoughtful one, which churns these brilliant guffaw-worthy posts. I learnt to humor God, from you Kalpak. Living life king size and turning the thorns into dandelions is what you want, check this guy out!  I chose Dark Blue (Blue + Black) for you as it is Intense and Mysterious like black, and spreads Infinitely like the Blue Sky.

Coloring Life Purple All the WayChinese Astrological Signs, I always found intriguing. And then I saw The Dragon, I couldn't contain my glee. To shield your heart from the scars and yet live like you were never hurt, takes the intensity of a Dragon indeed. Thoughts that are honest and straightforward, are not easy to pen down and yet you do it. To live admiring, thinking and cherishing what I have, is what I learnt from you, Priyanka. And all you Purple Lovers out there, do not, I say DO NOT miss her, she will make you smile, MSM promises. I chose the color Indigo Purple for you as you remind of the Mental Strength and Intuitiveness that the color evolves with. A Dreamer, A Thinker and living in the moment, like the flow of Indigo.

Moody Mocktails: The High that life gives you sometime and you lose your way in the Moody Mocktails. I learnt to keep standing even when I am lost in the crowd, even when I have to confirm to the standards set by the hypocritical society, I live, in the dizzy spell, life casts on me, from you Aakash. Yes, as he says, you can get addicted to his Blog and you would wish, the addiction never ceases. I chose Teal Green for you as it reminds me of Forests laden with roads and paths Unexplored and yet to be Discovered.

Embodying Emotions: And there she was, yet again, to console me, to walk me through the muck I had created around me, after all Embodying Emotions is not easy, yet you are there, always Sarah. You write, with feelings and truth not spilling over each other, which makes reading you a refreshing experience. For a blog, that doesn't lie to you, follow her. I chose Sky Blue for you as it reminds me of Purity, Cleanliness and Vastness that can hold everything in its arms, like the sky above.

I cannot leave this post without including these wonderful Bloggers Paanipuri Lover - who I joined yesterday and God! She is hilarious! Her color as I feel is Lime Green - Effervescent, Bubbly, Tangy and Punchy! Keirthana who is witty, smart and thoughtful like the Uranus, which rules the color Aubergine Purple. She appreciates and stands by what she believes.For her Blog she chooses the infinity symbol calling it as UndefinedSmita  - for keeping the child in her heart, alive. She reminds me of Marigold flower, hence the color, abundance to be cherished and valued. You can reach her while you flip through the Pages from, Diary of a Lost GirlAnuranjani, who never forgets to drop by and make me smile. I wait to hear from you, lady. She found me when I thought about my name and she writes @ To Hell With The Name. I chose Deep Red for you as you remind me of the Life Force that flows in us - Strong, Flexible yet soothing, life providing. Last but definitely, not the least CRYSTAL, who makes me think of the subtleties that the mortal eyes miss. She uses a Symbol very close to my heart, called PENTAGRAM and is a very talented writer. I chose Amethyst Purple for you as it reminds me of the labyrinth that our mind creates which confounds many but shows a way to the deserving.
Image Source: Patrick Pendalis
The Colors that I have given here, are my own thoughts, the feel and the image I get when I think of you. It's the way I see you. No Magic Involved. No Rabbits Killed. ;)

I cannot live without the Moonlight and the Night sky and I am sure, I have forgotten some wonderful people, so I apologize...and leave you with the light of this Crescent to shine upon you and soothe your minds. This post is a very small way of acknowledging what you all mean to me. It may sound absurd or hokey, but MSM wishes to stay true to all, so I mote it be! Blessed be.

A special Acknowledgement to Anoop from My Life Doesn't Suck Anymore, who gave me the name MSM. You made my life easier!. You have been a great friend and I want you to write, you invisible man! 

11 Nov 2011

What Love?

Blessed Be My Mystical Mortals!

*Disclaimer: Dark Post Ahead. You have been Warned.*

Today, I meant to talk about love. About how I dread certain people I know really well, are going to break up - on the basis of feelings. The feeling I get when I am with them, when I look at them. I shall be hauled in the padded cell for this. But what can I do?  I feel it. 
Image Source: symyx.deviantart.com
Am I resistant to love? In general? May be my own heart is jealous that I don't want people to love? I don't know. Someone has told me that I have infinite capacity to love, but I put up walls around me. The reason could be that Trust is a big issue. I trust easily and I trust too much. I am clingy. I want someone to take care of me. And I am aware of it. Hence, I don't get close to people. Men, in my life have always assumed extreme positions. I wouldn't include my father in this, though he has a major hand in shaping my opinion about men. I fear them. Women have tagged me. I don't judge them. So what am I blabbering about?
Image Source: vi.sualize.us
I always wonder, that I say I am afraid of falling in love. I can be the most cruelest girl to fall in love with. I can cut you down with my words, I can lure you in and push you down from the edge. I can make you hate yourself. I can make you forget love forever. But you, you cannot make me believe in love, because by the time I realize I am in love, you will be gone. 
Image Source: life123.com
Sometimes it's just about facing our fears. Guess, I am still a coward.
Argh! I can't see myself pining! I need coffee! Okay, lovely people! This is one of those mindless posts which have me ranting without realizing what I ranted about.  I will leave you with a poem, I wrote for someone who loved me and I didn't. He was the only one. I never understood why. However, this one expressed me, truly. 

Dark Love

The fragrance of your love wafts through the air around me,
I choke on it as I know it’s false, I know it will make me fall,
I close my eyes in terror, ready to fight the clawing arms of your love,
I am holding tight the past that had made me forget my pain,
You come closer to take my hands in yours,
I try to run away, I hate being subject to your lies,
But you make me believe you truly love me,
I realize it’s the lie you have learnt over the years and I have no way out,
I fawn at you and fight back the impulse to kill you,
I look at you, in your eyes I see the shimmer of pain I put you through,
I feel happy, I feel young again…
Like a child who relishes the death of the bee that stung it,
You are holding me in a warm embrace and I pray for a peaceful death,
I give my word to never leave you alone, you smile at me with a belief that you won,
My eyes pool the tears of blood and remorse; you are too blind to feel them in your elation,
I give in to the defeat and stand up to be with you in your journey of life, my death,
This dark love will never leave me alone, in pain and grief I will move,
To be your angel, angel of sin, angel of wrong….for you I’ll be your only love, true love…
Love forever…
Image Source: dark.pozadia.org
Sigh, unloaded my heart a bit here. I have to tell you all about this wonderful Blog I follow. Someone really close to my heart writes it and yes, it makes me want to be in LOVE. So Bad. Anyhow, you HAVE to check it out - Little Things in Love - beautiful Blog, will make you smile no matter what. Won't you listen to you Mystical Friend? Go on! Give it a shot!  Blessed Be! Till the next time, my Dears, live like you have no tomorrow...love like there's no forever, hope like there's day after night...dream like all of it will come true.

PS: I am afraid of Masquerade and Venetian Masks - They frighten and intrigue me at the same time. Kinda like, love. Hence, I have put it up there.

7 Nov 2011

I will Love you Forever - A Tribute to my Beloved

Blessed Be Everyone!

I came home. And everything is messed up here. I have lost my Naani (Maternal Grandmother), the day I arrived here. Somewhere deep down I believed that she will be all right. I had put my faith in HIM. Now I feel, she is saved from the heavy life she had to live here, in her old days. It's tough to handle Mum. And it's more tough to believe that she is no more.  

She was beautiful, brown eyes and long hair, grayed but luscious. And we shared our love for coffee. She never mocked me for being fat, made a point to call me beautiful, wished to see me married in red - Bengali Style. I feel proud to be related to her. She always saved things for me - baby cucumbers, orange candies, Paan (Beetle Leaves), books and her love.
Image Source: candypros.com
My paternal grandma is biased - as in she is prejudiced when it comes to girls. No, when it comes to me. She has always disliked me, hated me since the day I was born - a girl and premature. And I have hated her right back. I don't disrespect her. I avoid her. She knows that. We talk like Frenemies. She makes a point to call a gathering and display my *beauty* - "Oh she has such a beautiful face but she is so fat. God is so unjust! Tch Tch." "Oh, you want to be a Darzi?? (Fashion Designer)...will you get money?" "What, you are becoming a lawyer? Who will marry you? Eh, you are so fat." etc. I don't intend to insult my Daadi Maa. But the stark difference between both my Grandmother hurts me. And my reasons for going to village is now gone. I am trying to live normally, standing by my Mother, for now she links me to her mother. 
Image Source: danheller.com
But nothing, nothing can fill the void. I am unable to cry for the feeling hasn't sunk in. I cannot believe she is gone. I cannot. She stayed with me for two months. And suddenly she is gone. 

Trying to forget you, letting you fade away,
Fact of life, tough to believe, easy to say,
Your place in my heart, who can replace,
I am your daughter, I need your embrace,
My heart rejoices, for you have finally found peace,
But without you my breath, my life now seems bleak,
I know you see me, I can feel you in my heart,
You made me believe, true love exists from start,
I was beautiful when I was with you,
I was complete, when your smile was true, 
I pine for you, but the halo has touched you,
You are now in HIS loving protection,
May happiness be your ultimate destination.

Image Source: getoutdoorgear.com
I am trying to move on with my life. My parents will leave to attend her last rites but I have to stay back. Friggin' Exams. She knows how freaked out I get. I haven't shed a tear yet. I know I will, when I am alone. The feeling hasn't sunk in. Yet. Forgive me. For I need strength. Stand by me. For I need Love. Hold my hand. For I know, I am true. So be you. 

Blessed be my beloved people. Till the next time believe that Death is the Ultimate Peace, the truth we need not fear. 

3 Nov 2011


Hello Hello and Blessed be my Beloved People!!

I am going HOME tonight!! *Grins* What a pain-in-the-arse this semester was, has been! I just finished my internship and now I am in serious need of a break (even if that means I have to study Bare Acts and Sigh, laws) and lots of coffee!

I will be regular with my posts, since Voodoo and other mysteries need to be solved for a long time. Any ideas or things you all need to know about? Let me know. I will try my best! :D And I promise, "Fear" shall not be repeated, though Raguel might be, only for Peevee! :D :D <3
Raguel for you! :D :D ;)
Blessed Be and love you all. May stars shine upon you, MSM motes that be!