18 Oct 2011

Nothing Else Matters - Rock the Heaven!

This one's for you mate, I know you are rocking up there...may be you have found a way back to the earth, but I would be much happier if you stay there....it's crappy down here!

I think of you almost every day...and today I had to get this off my chest, it's been four years since you are gone. That gruesome accident took you away from me...and I wish, if you were taken to the hospital earlier, things would have been different and much much much better. The Girl you loved, is now my room mate and we are bound together by our love for you, we think of the times, when you would flirt with me and her, but how true your love was for her, I know...and that is why, I promised to myself, I will take care of your girl :) :D

It wasn't for a long time that we knew each other, but you understood me, the moment you sat down next to me on that first bench. You, Stuti and I - Partners in Crime. I remember that contagious laughter, which would crinkle your eyes and make you cry. I was from a small town, having no idea how big and scary things in city were...but you, made me feel part of it. Our three sided conversations at 11 pm ever day - with Neha and Purnima simultaneously screaming down, asking you to stop flirting with me...and how you would, in your adorable Hindi, try to impress me saying, "Flirt nahi kar raha, line maar raha hoon." (Not flirting, hitting on her). Things changed the day you died. No one told me "Goodmorning Pradeeta" every day. No one became my company when I wanted to be all alone. No one loved me without conditions and told me what a friend was. The connections you made between us - you, a Tamil Brahmin, me a Brahmin - it was good enough for you for you wanted to marry me. I used to laugh like crazy at your stunts to just find similarities! I still do. :)

I picked up guitar, after your death VJ, I came to love every single Metallica song you thought I would hate, simply because English songs weren't my domain, specially death metal. I cried myself to sleep every night. People questioned me, gave me queer looks that maybe I loved you...but how could I, when you loved your girl and told me that I was the bestest friend you ever got, I felt blessed! I was in love with your friendship. I fell in love with a friend of yours', who still doesn't know. All the things, after you were gone, reminded me of you. You taught me to leave an impact in a short time. You taught me to laugh with everyone else laughing at you. You swore not to drink as I refused to sit next to you even when drinking was not the issue. You weren't letting me write the test. Those jealous looks to Jeffrey and claiming that I was yours' and he shouldn't be anywhere near you. That sentence in Hindi, "Aap meri sabse achchi dost ho. Aapko Khamosh nahi rehna chahiye, aap haste hue bohot sundar lagti ho...Damn man! I can't talk in Hindi!" I was in splits! I am keeping my promise of not to stop smiling. It becomes tough, so tough, but I will make it through. You don't frown! :D

Today, it's been four years. I tell myself I have moved on...that your picture has faded from my memory, that I can now truly do justice to you by letting you go. But mate, is it so easy? 

May you Rest in Peace Vijay.

[Fours years ago, in my first year of Law College, I lost a friend, who died in a bike accident. I was at his funeral when I couldn't accept the fact that he was dead. I am here today, writing this, for him and accepting that he may have moved on in the Otherworld as I will move on here.]


Freelancer said...

Wherever he is up there, i know he's in peace and still laughing at your antics.

Give hell to God for me dude. And send a guardian angel to P. She needs one. We all do. Till we meet, take care

meoww said...

this post touched me Pradeeta..(m in love with your name you know..!!)

m sure wherever he is today..he is reading this and beaming with pride..::)
and i guess he is acting like your guardian angel...just like he filled your life with the warmth of friendship before..

lots of love and blessings..!!

Kanthu said...

The real worth of life comes not when one lives, but when they are thought about after they are dead. Ur frnd will be proud..:-)

Keirthana said...

I had tears flowing down my face, when I finished reading your post. Then did I realize that I was in office.

A best tribute to a friend! We all know your friend is beaming down on you, feeling so proud and happy.

Btw, Pradeeta..... A nice name! Sounds so good that I feel like saying it again and again! I am seriously considering naming my daughter after you. Do you mind? ;) Anyways, it would take a few years.

Red Handed said...

Cheer up girl! He wants you to be forever happy. He definitely is happy for he knows that he made a friend like you.
People leave you and only then you realize how much they meant to you.
What to say MSM, I am not good at commenting when i am truly touched to point of being numb. Hence i stop. I know you understand.

Nice name you got btw

maithili said...

This really is heart wrenching..to lose a friend that close is really tough. This piece is a great tribute to that relation. He might be up there smiling and guarding you..

Vijay Menon said...

He must have read this post and he must be telling his friends up there- " See that? That's what we call friendship. Can any of you guys show me at least one of them like that? God bless MSM"
Heart touching indeed.


A Lot Like Fashion said...

Catching up on reading after really long and this is the first piece I read.
RIP, Vijay. He will always be in our prayers.
*hugs* Prada!

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@FL: I know...he is...rocking in heaven! :) Thank you for those wishes...and I wish he sends down a fleet of guardian angels for all of us... :D :D

@meoww: :') Thank you. I hope I have kept the promise of friendship and giving out a reason to smile for everyone....Love and blessings to you too sweetheart! Mwaaah! :) :) *BIG hug*

@Kanthu: Thank you! :) These wishes mean a lot!

@Keirthana: I couldn't stop my tears while I was writing this...Lemme give you a hug! *Hugs* I wish I'd move on...I am trying, slowly...Thank you for these wishes. :) :)

PS: I would be honored. However, I will soon write on the meaning of my name, if you love it then, you can take it :D :D

@Red: :') I have tears in my eyes and my heart is hurting... these words mean so much! So much. I understand everything you are saying...words can't replace these emotions *Hugs*

@Sis: *Tight Hug* Thank you thank you. :')

@Vijay: The fact that your name is 'Vijay' made it tough for me to comment. I know I know, that shouldn't happen. I apologize. Thank you for those lovely words :) He must be happy that I am now MSM. :)

Blessed Be!

@A Lot Like Fashion: I missed you. :'| I had to write this, for I wanted to respect Vijay's memories...True indeed, he will always be in our hearts. *Hugs* Bless you! :)


A very touchy post... Friends are the ones who will make you laugh and cry at the same time. The way friendship portrayed was good. I know the loss is irreplaceable but keep smiling as your friend wants you to do..

PeeVee™ said...

Why does He do this? Take away the sweetest, nicest people long before they have even started living?

I'm sure your friend would be proud of you for who you are today, for having the courage to put this down in writing.

I still can't.

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@RAVISHANKAR: Thank you! :)

@PeeVee: It was the only way I could be at peace you know, the whole day I wanted these emotions to be out of my system, wrote this at work, when I couldn't bear. Thank you! I bless you with the courage to bear the pain of loss... *Hugs*

Nia Charms said...

You made me cry. I can soo relate to this. May his soul R.I.P

HijiBijBij said...

I know how it feels. I have lost a friend to not in any accident though it was a suicide...it kills me even today when i think of the dreadful day it happened and she never shared me anything...i still feel useless as a friend who couldnt do anything. *hugs to you*

May his soul rest in peace!

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Nia: Ohhh Dear! *Hugs*

@HijiBijBij: You ain't useless...you were a friend...and it was a choice she made...like you have a choice to accept the fact...that it is consequences of the choices we have to live with...you have a choice to give her memory a rest...that will help you accept the fact that it was not your fault. *Hugs Back*

May your friend RIP.

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p said...

I can't even imagine how it must feel to lose a friend like this. I've never ever attended a funeral in my life and I hope I never have to also. Vijay will look down/up whichever world he was chosen to go to and smile at his bestest friend :D

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@The DRAGON girl: I hope you never do, honey :). Hehehe, Vijay must be rocking whereever he is, afterall death metal was his favorite ;) :D *Yes Vijay, you can laugh*

PS: Thank you honey, for the wishes.

HijiBijBij said...

hmm..i understand what you say...but cannot stop cribbing i dunno why? thanks :) following you from now on! :)

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Hijibijbij: *Hugs* You will take time, but you will come to terms with it, I believe so... :D :) And thank youuu! for following me! :D :D That made by day. :)

Viya ;) said...

OMG!!! this almost had me in tears man... :( :( ... A similar incident happened in my life too and its been almost 6 years.. Even though we knew him for a short period, he's still etched in our memories...
*huuug* !
I'm sure the dude is having fun up there ;) and i hope he keeps the rain god away from the metallica concert tomorrow ;)

Cяystal said...

Dude. You didn't have to do this. My first time here and I felt almost numbed. I've lost a cousin in a bike accident. I miss her ever bloody moment of my life and specially when I hear of em I weep inside. Hmmm.. we still move on in life, though the lose is irrevocable, nothing like that person can ever exist. Aww, I almost choked myself at the Metallica part .. Heard Fade to Black and Fuel? They're the prettiest (can't believe I'm using the word for Death metal)
and, Vijay is still looking over you. And trust me, he'd be smiling after this. *Tight hug*

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Viya ;) *Hugs back!* I am so sorry....I totally understand. And yeah, I hope he sees the concert from the heavens. :) :)

@Crystal: *Tight Hug* Oh honey, I am so sorry. I bless you! :) :) I wished, you would have read something that didn't numb you...I know, the loss is revocable and it just looks easy to move on...and we can pretend we are fine, but what's inside, is what we know.

Haven't heard those two, now I will :D :D Thank you and welcome here. :D I like your name, resonates in my mind. :D

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

*not revocable