Blessed Be Everyone!
I know there was supposed to be the 4th Part to the Bon Voyage Series but my Emotional Roller Coaster has just plunged into the lowest depth possible - Anger, Hurt and Depression! (No, I am not PMS-ing please!) I thought the best way to let it all out was to write (and paint, which I did). Past few months (April, May and June) have been totally upside down - My results were out and I passed (Phew!) which was a plus; I couldn't spend more than 3 days with my brother who is my anchor - which was a downside; there was an incorrigible family situation which I couldn't solve - a downside; gained a new perspective from my father - was a plus. Made a new friend - Lost another. Welcomed a new member to the friends' group and witnessed some of the very real emotions up close.
Had a shocker too last night, when heard about the Mumbai blasts - my Mama (Mother's brother) is there and thankfully he is all right. But the other people who died and their photos on the news, saddened me so much. Saw a funeral walk while returning from college. Came back to the apartment...felt so so so lonely that I couldn't concentrate on doing anything. Then I decided to paint [Just to let you know - I cannot paint for nuts, though I sketch quite well :)]
I have no idea why I am feeling like this...I cannot write, I don't want to talk, I am scared about so many things...my mother's health and my stupid low attendance and rounds of Director's Office. It's like I am living in a bubble of my own - which no one can access nor I can let someone in. I can't cry and I can't go home. Home, I miss it, like so much. My researches on mystical things have stopped - I am adjusting and re-adjusting to so many situations. I used to think I am pretty strong in controlling my emotions - no one could tell what I feel but now, it's like I will break. I know I know, I am cribbing and I shouldn't have been writing this in the first place...but I just did. (No going back now, huh?)
Anyway, my mind is asking me to stop and my heart is asking me to go on...but I think I will stop here. You can ignore this One Hell of a Cribbing Post - but I would like if you could give me one of those Jaadu ki Jhappis. :) :) Oh, and I leave you all with this poem I wrote million years ago, just felt like reading it today.