14 Jul 2011

Go Away July!

Blessed Be Everyone!

I know there was supposed to be the 4th Part to the Bon Voyage Series but my Emotional Roller Coaster has just plunged into the lowest depth possible - Anger, Hurt and Depression! (No, I am not PMS-ing please!) I thought the best way to let it all out was to write (and paint, which I did). Past few months (April, May and June) have been totally upside down - My results were out and I passed (Phew!) which was a plus; I couldn't spend more than 3 days with my brother who is my anchor - which was a downside; there was an incorrigible family situation which I couldn't solve - a downside; gained a new perspective from my father - was a plus. Made a new friend - Lost another. Welcomed a new member to the friends' group and witnessed some of the very real emotions up close. 

Had a shocker too last night, when heard about the Mumbai blasts - my Mama (Mother's brother) is there and thankfully he is all right. But the other people who died and their photos on the news, saddened me so much.  Saw a funeral walk while returning from college. Came back to the apartment...felt so so so lonely that I couldn't concentrate on doing anything. Then I decided to paint [Just to let you know - I cannot paint for nuts, though I sketch quite well :)]

I have no idea why I am feeling like this...I cannot write, I don't want to talk, I am scared about so many things...my mother's health and my stupid low attendance and rounds of Director's Office. It's like I am living in a bubble of my own - which no one can access nor I can let someone in. I can't cry and I can't go home. Home, I miss it, like so much. My researches on mystical things have stopped - I am adjusting and re-adjusting to so many situations. I used to think I am pretty strong in controlling my emotions - no one could tell what I feel but now, it's like I will break. I know I know, I am cribbing and I shouldn't have been writing this in the first place...but I just did. (No going back now, huh?) 

Anyway, my mind is asking me to stop and my heart is asking me to go on...but I think I will stop here. You can ignore this One Hell of a Cribbing Post - but I would like if you could give me one of those Jaadu ki Jhappis. :) :) Oh, and I leave you all with this poem I wrote million years ago, just felt like reading it today.

Once upon a time, I was a BIG fan of Japanese Manga and other art forms. Hence the picture :)


maithili said...

Oh dear.. happens..the depressing lows of life :( Btw how did you forget I m here too in Mumbai :P Though I was happily cooking when the blasts happened :P Next time( I hope there is no more) remember me too okay for worrying :P :P Okay i m in a smug mood today ;P
Don't worry you will bounce back like you always doo.. You are strong :) My soul sis after all!

Red Handed said...

The low attendance can be dealt with.. i mean its a part of the joyously crazy college life right? Hold on girl! Dont let small stuffs prick you and done let people alter your state of mind. Its not worth it!
One big JAADU KI JHAPPI for you!

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Maithili: Shit, I am so sorry! :( I didn't forget you... Thank you sooo much for those words...means a lot really! <3 :) :) I love you all a lot! Hey Soul Sis - Yeah! I will be back soon! :D :D

@Red: Attendance is coming along all right...but as you said...the little pricks are causing a huge prick! :( I totally agree with you...just don't feel up enough to hold on....but...but...Thank you for you Jhappi! :) :) I shall be back soon...with my Mystical Stories :D

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

I just had the worst day ever and i read your your post and felt all the more bad! :( Stupid i know... but yeah... bad days do that to you!
But its okay... even the best of us fall down sometimes.. things will pick themselves up dont worry :) And one huge jaadu ki jhappi coming along your way :D Have a good night's sleep and am sure you'll be back to your usual self tomorrow!

p.s - music and some good beats never fail to cheer me up. Just saying! :)

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@TheGirlAtFirstAvenue: Et Tu Chandana? :( Awww.... [Jaadu ki Jhappi for you too!) Don't want you to be sad...see? You cheered me up no? :D :) You too smile! I am planning to down some Hot Coffee! ;) And music, it definitely is such a soul soother! Thank you Sweetheart! :) :)

Vinati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vinati said...

Don't worry yaar. I know there are times when we don't even know the reason behind are low mood. It has happened with me too. But everything will fall into place. Give some time.
And low attendance is NOT a big issue...so you are not supposed to worry about it..okay? And hey congrats for your good result. Mine will also be out soon.
uhh...*fingers crossed* :P
Nice poem, by the way.

And here comes another Jaadu ki Jhappi..!! ^_*

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Anyone with a sensitive heart would feel almost the same. It's okay to let out.

Blasphemous Aesthete

Nia Charms said...

loved it. tooo good.

Nia Charms

Scribbling Gal said...

Bad days...sigh ask me ....nothing is going right :(

Jaadu ki jhaapi for u >:D<
Life will be better soon and ranting is a solution always...trust me it helps the most so do it often :)

And all will be great...now cheer up :)

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Vinati: This semester's results are due. *Fingers crossed* Good luck to you Sweetheart! I am coming up...soon I will be back to take ya'll to the mysterious lands from where I had once started...Thank you for the Jhappi! Here's one for you too *Hugs*

@Blasphemous Asthete: Thanks!:D :D I have a question which rears its head every time I read a comment of yours' - How do you remain so unperturbed? It's fascinating...! :D

@Nia Charms: Blessed be and welcome to my Blog, Nia :):) Thank You! I am following you! You have one awesome blog there! Keep reading! :D :D

@Scribbling Gal: Awwww honey! *Hugs* Ranting is definitely a solution. It makes me feel like a total chick ;)! :P :P I am hoping the same for you...all will be great! You too cheer up! :) :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

How do I remain unperturbed? Let's pretend, alright. I've often been called upon by my mother to show children a serious face when others give in to laughter. I can smile without moving my lips. :P
Does that count as a valid answer?

Blasphemous Aesthete

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

@Blasphemous Asthete: I see... I got two things: 1) Pretend not to smile when you actually are [In your head]

2) You have achieved success in Poker Face. Yes, that counts as a valid answer. Thank you! :D :D I am satisfied.