‘Ira, you don’t have to be scared. I know it was you. I can recognize you anywhere. Why did you run away? Just because things aren’t same between us doesn’t mean you have to be scared. Really. I am here in Mumbai for a conference of Writers’ Association. You can see me there if you like to. No pressure. I am sure you had some work. I just want to catch up. Oh, and I have a lot to tell you.
P.S. You can call me. I will take a pass for you.]
That’s how Abeer was – direct and to the point. Guess, that’s why I hated him when he told me that I am over ambitious and that I’d screw up one day. I remember that day when I had walked out of his life:
‘You know what, you will be covered with papers and I will be too. You – in your stupid writing sheets and I…I will be – with the crisp money!’
‘Money? Are you for real? You are leaving me because of money?’
‘Heyyyy dude, like relax. Don’t act like you are my husband or anything, okay? I am leaving you because you really don’t give a damn about what I want to do.’
‘Dude? What the hell is with that lingo Ira? I am your Boyfriend. I love you. Oh wait. I think that part will change soon.’ Abeer was glaring at me. It was the first time I had seen in his eyes, anything other than love.
‘Like duh! You anyway hate everything I do. I don’t even remember anymore how I fell for you! So Boring and uh, uncle like. Always Chaste!’
I had rolled my eyes and had dug my stiletto heels on his carpet. I had received a call from this firm as a secretary. Abeer was strictly against it.
‘Always chaste?’ He had jumped on this as his arms gripped me around shoulders strongly. My heart had raced and my knees had literally buckled. That’s when they say, one must listen to heart where matters of heart are concerned. I should have realized how much I loved him. What I realized was that my insult had hurt his male ego. And I loved it. I grabbed the chance.
‘Yeah dude. Chaste. C-H-A-S-T-E. Now leave me. I am getting late.’ I pretended to be not affected in the least by his proximity. What a cheap chick I was. I am.
‘Dude? Go to hell. I want you to do the right thing IRA. Your manager, the famous Mr. Mahant is a cheapster and a womanizer. He was caught with his last secretary – doing stuff. Does this not bother you AT ALL?’
‘That chick must have been dumb. I will kick his arse if he tries anything funny with me.’ My overconfidence blinded me and I could not see the fear of losing me in Abeer’s eyes.
‘You just want to whore around…’ Abeer had mumbled when I raised my right hand to slap him. He caught it.
‘You heard it right. If you are not bothered by that bastard, then you are going to do what I said just now. Whoring around! And Get out now! I don’t want your filthy hand to touch me.’
‘Abeer! Guess what…’ I placed my red lacquered nails on his chin while he backed with a disgusting expression on his face. It hurt me but fueled my anger.
‘….F*ck you’ I said that and left him.
I remember that he had sat down for support while I had walked away. He had sent million messages to me - ranging for apologetic, angry, romantic to monosyllables. And then they stopped. Abeer stopped any kind of contact with me for past 3 years.
Somehow reading his letter tonight has made me cry. I feel dirty and cheap. I have whored around and earned money. Dirty money.
I cry and sob curled up on the cold bed. I cry till my eyes hurt and no tears come out anymore. My breath comes out in gasps and I clutch the pillow to my chest and doze off. I dream of my mother who loved me so much and of my father, from whom I got my looks and of my little brother, who always idolized me.
My passion, over ambition had ruined everything. Will I ever see them again? They think I am in Nainital, working on a book with Abeer. Yes, they know about Abeer – as my best friend from college and about the interest we shared in writing. They trusted him more than they trusted me. And I had left him, left them."
What will Ira do? Meet Abeer and tell him about her? Or go back to what she does the best - escorting? Keep Reading my Blessed Fellas! :)