A Letter to God by a girl who steps into another year of adulthood. Blessed Be.
You must be thinking, how am I talking to you today, when we fought yesterday. Well, I fought with you. You, you never said anything. Tomorrow, I turn 23 and the weight of that is crashing me down. Not with sorrow or fear, but with the knowledge of reality that I've survived 23 years of my life in this world. Words can never describe how thankful I feel that I've made it through the days. All, because of you.
When I think of the past, I see how you always stood by me, even when I was alone in the crowd. I was always alone, wasn't I? I was young and tender. How old was I? 6? Yes, 6. I saw my family crash into an accident. I came through unscathed. Everyone was injured, except me. The older ones said I was unlucky for them. Was I? I saw you at the hospital and I felt sunlight coursing through my heart. I knew it would be all right. And yes, it was all right. All, because of you.
I grew up, to feel for the first time, what fear means. Someone tried to damage me and I couldn't run. Could I? But you were there, and I ran away, just in time to be saved. That moment scarred me forever and I still cannot learn how to love, but you, you teach me what love is. Pure, unconditional and undemanding. You teach me that no matter what, you love me and you will show me a ray of hope. I learnt to hope in devastating circumstances. All, because of you.
I saw what was the pain of not being loved felt like. I saw two most important people of my life, fight and still survive. I heard them hurl profanities towards each other, I saw them yell, and I felt them cry. Alone, in a room, desperate for attention I fought with the only little brother I have. You showed me what true love was. That little brother today, stands tall and holds my hands when he sees I am alone. You taught me how to respect what you have, and I learnt it. All, because of you.
I was mocked for what I was. I was mocked through the years, for the things I believed in. Magic and Fairy Tales were my best friends, weren't they? Now, I was a young adult and I fought with my best friends. I fought with the fact everyday, that You exist. For me you didn't. You vanished from my thoughts, from my life. I didn't care anymore. After all, I couldn't see you, could I? Then how could you be real? You weren't. One day, you showed me you do. And I believed in it. I learnt that no matter what, if you have faith, anything could be real. I learnt to believe in myself. All, because of you.
God, they say that you can make one wish on your Birthday. And I, I have only one wish. That you stand by me like this and help me grow. I will make mistakes, I still do, but, you...you never judge me. Help me know the difference between right and easy. Help me learn that not everything is achieved through hard work - that I need to believe in myself and love what I do.
I know you would hug me when you see this. Hugs, I like them, don't I? I am Twenty Three. I grew up, didn't I :)
The Girl Who Stepped Into Another Year Of Adulthood.